
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/721215.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Major_Character_Death, Underage
  Category:
      F/M, F/F
  Fandom:
      Kings
  Relationship:
      Jack_Benjamin/Lucinda_Wolfson, Jack_Benjamin/David_Shepherd, Jack
      Benjamin/Andrew_Cross, Jack_Benjamin/Joseph_Lasile, David_Shepherd/
      Abigail, Michelle_Benjamin/David_Shepherd
  Character:
      Jack_Benjamin, Lucinda_Wolfson, David_Shepherd, Andrew_Cross, OMC, Joseph
      Lasile, Michelle_Benjamin
  Additional Tags:
      Genderswap, Alternate_Universe_-_Always_a_Different_Sex, Rule_63, Non
      Consensual, Post_canon, Forced_Marriage, Light_Dom/sub, Divorce,
      Adultery, Frottage, Violence, Suicidal_Thoughts, Cousin_Incest, Underage
      Sex, Femslash, Non-Linear_Narrative, The_Prophet_Nathan_tells_everyone
      where_they_can_stick_it, Group_Sex, Character_Death, Rape, eventual
      polyamory, creepy_uncles
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-03-15 Completed: 2013-06-21 Chapters: 15/15 Words: 25519
****** Queens: A Story of Love and Power ******
by babydraco
Summary
     A "Jack's a girl and a lesbian" AU. It begins with Princess Jaqui and
     her fiance Luke Wolfson locked in a bedroom as punishment for Jaqui's
     coup attempt. Can her friend Dianna Shepherd rescue them, and if so,
     where do they go from there? This is her story, told through post
     canon scenes as well as flashbacks.
***** hammers fall on all the pieces *****
Chapter Notes
     It's probably easier to follow this story if you've seen the show. I
     mean, if you know how the show ends, the way this story starts won't
     come as a huge surprise but if you didn't see the last episode...it's
     kind of a disturbing way to start a fic. There's stuff that could be
     triggery in this fic, mainly rape and suicidal thoughts.
     I should have put this note at the start of the chapter when I first
     posted, but oh well, it's here now. I originally meant to make this a
     complete retelling of the plot, episode by episode but it didn't work
     out that way. Although scenes and episodes I didn't cover in this fic
     may be given the Jaquiverse treatment separately, later., I do a lot
     of skipping around and assuming the reader is familiar with what
     happened on the show and, in some cases, the original Bible source
     material (like the show, I tried to include a lot of Easter Eggs). I
     just wasn't able to properly develop all the original subplots and
     conspiracies and minor character relationships this first time around
     so it was safer to skim over them.
      
     You_can_read_a_long_essay_about_my_further_thoughts_on_the_topic_here
Men still have trouble recognizing that a woman can be complex, can have
ambition, good looks, sexuality, erudition, and common sense. A woman can have
all those facets, and yet men, in literature and in drama, seem to need to
simplify women, to polarize us as either the whore or the angel.- Natalie
Dormer.
She woke up with Luke thrusting inside her. He moved so gently, like he though
that'd make a difference. She just lay there and let him, after all, what was
she supposed to do, scream for help? This was the reason her father had locked
her in this room in the first place, to submit to an unwanted pregnancy by an
unwanted man. No screaming allowed, because no one was allowed to help her. Her
limbs felt heavy, like she was floating underwater, counteracting her soldier's
instincts and she remembered dimly that the juice with lunch had tasted funny.
In fact, lunch was the last thing she remembered. Luke made a stupid sounding
noise and came. He pulled out, crawled off her and disappeared into the
bathroom, where she heard the shower running. He was crying in there. Moving
quietly, Jaqui searched his things and when she found the box of pills, placed
them prominently on the dinner table. Then she pulled on a dark purple silk
bathrobe and curled up on the couch and watched In the Neighborhood on tv,
feeling sore and sticky and gross. And a lot of other things she didn't like to
name.
Luke emerged, with a towel wrapped around his waist and turned all sorts of
interesting colors when he saw the box. She turned her head away to hide the
tears threatening to spill.
“I- I- I asked Thomasina for them," he said. "Honey, we have to get this over
with so we can get out of here.”
“Idiot.” The audience on tv laughed uproariously at a pratfall.
“I didn't want to hurt you. I just want my life back.”
“A gentleman lets a lady have the first shower after he roofies her, dumbass.”
“I was a gentleman for five months, Jaqui. I had a life of my own, and a
family, and a job before you destroyed me. All you've done is treat me like
dirt. ”
“So this is what? Revenge?” Jaqui sneered. A life trapped in this suite with
her had finally taken its toll on a man who'd always seemed so patient and
sweetly dim. "God, you're not even good at raping people."
“No! I really wish...that you could've let me love you. But even more, I don't
want to be in your life anymore. Or, maybe it is revenge. Maybe I'm just fed up
with being your abused puppy. ” Luke's voice rose angrily. “I'm not weak or
stupid, but you led me on!”
“So you thought what you did was okay...” Jaqui choked out. “You actually
think-”
“Well, why not? Is the biggest slut of the Gilboan aristocracy really going to
object to spreading for yet another man? “
Jaqui rose from the couch.
“You,” she said, her voice low and deadly dangerous, “do not know what you're
fucking talking about.” She pushed past him and locked herself in the bathroom.
"Baby, don't be like that!"
She stayed there for hours,all day really, curled up in the tub until the water
was ice cold. He didn't know anything. That so much of her reputation had been
constructed of lies, or about the two shameful secrets that were so much worse
than having too many boyfriends. What Cousin Andrew had done to get banished,
and how terrified she'd been when she heard he was back and how she'd thought
Dianna Shepherd would be the one to save her from both Crosses, except for the
part where she couldn't ask for that kind of help out loud. Because she'd only
given in because she wanted to be queen and what kind of person did that make
her? Sometimes, when you made your bed, you had to literally lie in it, right?
And now, a simple mechanical act, if it was her choice instead of his...
At close to six o'clock, Jaqui came out of the bathroom and got dressed. The
guards arrived with their evening meal, grilled chicken, salad and a nice white
wine.
“Shall we dine?” Jaqui asked icily, taking her place at the table and laying a
white linen napkin in her lap like a proper finishing school graduate. Luke
joined her. The guard popped the cork on their wine and then withdrew, locking
the door again behind him. Luke poured two glasses and handed one to Jaqui.
Jaqui, slowly and deliberately, dropped one of the pills in her wine glass,
waited for it to dissolve, and sipped it while staring directly into his guilty
eyes. He was going to watch and know and feel sick.
***** The Open Door *****
A Gathian soldier disguised as a pizza delivery guy drove the car through the
gates of Altar Mansion while Dianna hid under blankets in the backseat. While
he argued loudly with a staff member about whether or not three pizzas had
actually been ordered by someone named Hugh Jass, Dianna slipped out the back
and darted through a side door. She had two guns in her bag, and the little
side door in the alley had zero security. She wore a wig for this part of the
mission, and a Visitor's Pass that Gath's finest government identity forger had
copied from one of her own original cards. She kept her head down and walked
with purpose, broadcasting an aura of busyness.
Thanks to a spy within the manor, a friend she'd cultivated two years ago when
she herself was still employed by the Crown, Dianna had the elevator pass code
that would take her to the floor Jaqui was supposed to be on. More people than
Silas and Rose suspected were no longer loyal yet still held affection for the
children they'd watched grow up within these walls. Her friend's jail cell was
in a nondescript (but subtly luxurious) hallway of unlabeled doors. She kept a
watch out for the suite, counting based on where she'd estimated it'd be from
the outside of the building. But she didn't need to do that after all.
A lone uniformed guard sat on a plastic chair outside it. With a pounding
heart, Dianna walked toward him casually. He stood up and stepped in front of
her.
“This corridor is off limits to the public, ma'am. How did you get up here?”
Dianna smacked his head into the doorpost, and let his unconscious body slump
to the floor. She backed up and, using as much muscle and power as she could
manage, kicked the door hard in the general area of the lock. It crashed open,
revealing a sumptuous bedroom done in red and cream. The furnishings were still
more valuable than Dianna's entire apartment in Gath but the windows, she knew,
were barred on the outside. Luke Wolfson was curled up on the bed, morosely
eating Funyons, while Jaqui occupied the floor, doing situps. They both looked
up in shock and confusion. Dianna pulled the wig off and at least Jaqui's eyes
showed sudden understanding.
“I know, I'm totally late,” Dianna said. “But I have a getaway car.” Jaqui
flung herself at Dianna, clutching fistfuls of her shirt and breathing hard
against her shoulder.
“Are you real?”
“Yeah, I'm real. I promise.” She pulled the second gun from her bag and pressed
it into Jaqui's hand. “It's already loaded in case we have to fight.”
“I don't understand what's happening,”Luke blurted out.
“We're breaking out. You can come, if you can keep up,” Jaqui told him, shoving
her feet into a pair of tennis shoes and grabbing a light jacket.
“Okay?” he said, and obediently followed them down the hall. They met with no
resistance from the staff, the halls were empty except for the unconscious
guard. But Silas was in the living room, reading the Unity Post and drinking
Scotch.
“Ladies. Mr. Wolfson.”
Jaqui aimed her gun and let out a low, whining growl.
“If you think this impresses me, Jacqueline, it doesn't. I told you I won't
tolerate this sort of behavior from you. Go back to your room before I have to
order someone to take you there.”
“Jaqui, do you want to kill him?” Dianna asked.
“Figuratively speaking, she doesn't have the stones and we all know it,” Silas
mocked. Jaqui's gun hand trembled.
“I-I-I don't know. He deserves it.”
“It's your choice,” Dianna said softly. “It's always your choice.”
Jaqui kept the gun trained on Silas as she walked backwards to the door, turned
and ran.
“That was your last chance, you bastard,” Dianna informed him before running
after Jaqui. While pounding down the stairs, she hit the remote car starter
button on her keyring. They made it to the front door as Silas's armed guards
came thundering from all directions. They were firing as the girls and Luke hit
fresh air and scrambled into the waiting car.
Her old friends the gate keepers, Klotz and Boyden, were more than happy to let
the speeding pizza delivery car through when they saw who was driving. Jaqui
sobbed brokenly, pressing her cheek against the window. Dianna gave Jaqui a
worried sidelong glance, reached out, took her hand, and kept driving.
***** Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree *****
Three Years Ago
Jaqui sat on the steps of Unity Hall, swigging from a bottle of vodka to work
up the courage. A town car with Gilboan flags on the hood pulled up, her father
and his entourage got out. She grabbed his arm as he passed her.
“I should be out there with my company. You benched me.”
“Then why aren't you on the bench?” Silas paused, looking exasperated.
“I don't want to stay on the sidelines. Is it because you believe what they're
saying? That ambush wasn't my fault.”
“I know that.” Silas waved his entourage away.
“I'm a good soldier and I don't want a desk job. What are people going to say
when my father banishes me to an office? They'll say I couldn't hack it because
I'm a girl. I was the first female captain in combat-”
“That's not why I'm doing it. It's not a punishment, Jaqui.” Silas easily
detached his arm from her grip.
“Well, it feels like one. You never wanted me in the army in the first place.
You don't want me to have a chance for other people to take me seriously. If
this is about my reputation as the Party Princess, it doesn't matter...”
“Oh, if only that was the problem,” Silas sneered, invading her personal space,
she was suddenly reminded of how much taller he was. Her father was the type to
lash out when cornered. “I'd rather have a daughter who can't get enough cock
because then there might be hope for you. Instead, I have a daughter who shows
no interest in men.”
Jaqui's heart sank. Her whole body seized up in panic. She thought she'd been
so careful, hiding this secret so shameful she had never put it into words. How
long had he known? Her lips parted but no words came out, just a panicked
little gasp. No, no nonono.
“ Oh, you thought I didn't know? I've been keeping pictures of our family out
of the free press for years . I know what you do at night with your...girls
after your show of man chasing. A woman doesn't exist for her own pleasure
in...that way... her purpose is her family and her children. I'm just as angry
about the damage that was done to you but you need to grow up and find some way
to get over it. You're a vessel for the propagation of our royal bloodline.
That's your job, your only job. Figure out how to do it or I will take that
decision out of your hands.”
Hot tears welled up and threatened to spill over her cheeks. She blinked them
back frantically.
“It's unnatural and a distraction. Wrestle it down. Numb it with ice. After you
do your duty, you can have any job you want but you will never get anywhere in
my government until you crush that weakness. Remember what you promised your
family. ” Silas continued on up the steps, leaving Jaqui uselessly wiping tears
away with her palm.
Present
“I get it, I think,” Dianna said. “But I still feel a little weird about how
we're bringing your...whatever...your rapist...along.” Several feet away, Luke
played hacky sack with the Gathian soldier. They'd parked by the side of the
road in the Prosperity Valley to stretch their legs and eat lunch (bags of
chips, bottles of juice, and sub sandwiches). The girls sat on the hood of the
car.
“My father played him, tried to set it up so Luke would end up complicit in my
father's crimes or die. Luke made a bad choice because the only choices we had
were bad ones. If I'd left him behind, Silas would've killed him or used him to
make me come back by threatening to hurt him. And now that we have him, we
can't let him go or he might run back and tell them where we are, not because
he's evil but because he's stupid and easily manipulated. So he's more like our
hostage now,” said Jaqui .
“I'm just wondering what we're going to do with him in Gath.”
“I don't know. But it seemed like something you'd do, so I knew it was the
right thing. Anyway, he's not that threatening, he's a harmless puppy compared
to -” she broke off and shook her head. “He's a sad, big eyed puppy who follows
me around.”
“Who roofies girls,” Dianna pointed out.
“If I think about that,” Jaqui said, “I'll fall apart. I can't afford to do
that.”
“I'm here for you, if you need to fall apart,” Dianna said. “I mean, I just
want you to know that you're not alone anymore.” It said something about how
lonely and touch starved Jaqui had been for the last two years that something
so corny could make her want to melt into a puddle at Dianna's feet. She'd lost
her family, her home, her reputation, her crown, but here was Dianna Shepherd,
shining larger than life with fantastic breasts, big blue eyes and a mass of
golden curls, Champion of Her People, promising to be there for her. She kind
of wanted Dianna to take her right there on the hood of the car in front of her
own boyfriend but she settled for planting a kiss on her lips. It was Dianna's
genius idea to add tongue. And that's when a couple of Monarch butterflies
rested on Jaqui's shoulder for a moment and flitted away. Reverend Samuels
would have called it an epiphany.
Three Years Ago
“Dad, you promised.” Jaqui cornered Silas in his library after that supremely
awkward dinner with the Crosses.
“I did,” Silas admitted. “I said you'd never have to see Andrew Cross again.”
“Then why is he sitting in our living room, having after dinner drinks with Mom
and Mike and Kurt Ghent and Luke Wolfson?”
“It's out of my hands. It was a condition of your Uncle William not using
CrossGen to shut down the entire infrastructure of Shiloh,” Silas explained. “I
have to allow that filthy creature to walk around free in my city again.”
“Daddy, you promised.” She felt her chest tighten and fought down panic. What
did this mean for her plans with Uncle William? How could her uncle do this to
her if he was really on her side?
“Just recently, you insisted to me that you could handle yourself like an
adult. So handle it. Go in there, smile, make nice. Show poise, and maturity,
be the better person.” Silas rose, and guided Jaqui into the living room with a
firm hand on the small of her back. Her legs trembled, she nearly stumbled in
her dark blue satin pumps. “Good girl,” Silas whispered.
“Hello, Jaqui.”
“Andrew.” She filled a large tumbler with Scotch and drank as much of it as she
could in one go. Bad idea. It burned like fire in her throat and she stifled a
cough. “Awesome to see you again!” Jaqui sank onto a couch, and kicked off her
shoes. For the rest of the evening, she made friendly, vivacious yet more than
a little vicious conversation while getting increasingly but not entirely
obnoxiously, drunk. After everyone left, she ended up crawling around the
carpet trying to find her other shoe.
“What are you doing on the floor?” Her mother asked, sounding both concerned
and disappointed. "You behaved better than expected tonight, but you could have
been more convincing.
“Mom, I can't find my other shoe.”
“Are you sure it's not just under the couch?” Queen Rose asked, sinking down
into a genteel crouch to peer under it.
“That's the only place it could be, but it's not,”Jaqui replied.
“Have a maid look for it later, if they don't find it, we'll go shopping
tomorrow and replace it.”
Present
They pulled into Gath in the middle of the night, making their way down bleak,
empty streets. The people of Gath could barely afford to maintain the
streetlights. Dianna drove to the outskirts of the capitol city and slowed to a
stop outside a large, crumbling mansion.
“Welcome to the headquarters of Gath's military. I know it's not nice like
you're used to.”
“It's better than a battlefield tent,” Jaqui said. Jaqui, Luke and the soldier
followed Dianna inside. Dianna turned right in a surprisingly not totally awful
looking conference area and took a set of stairs. Dianna's soldier friend
fished out a set of keys and unlocked a nondescript door, revealing a pleasant,
if spare and unimaginatively furnished, apartment. The soldier went in first
and looked around.
“We're clear,” he said.
“Thank you, Sergeant Perez, you're dismissed. Get some shut eye.” He saluted
and left. “Luke, you can bed down on the couch.” Dianna took a spare set of
sheets and pillows out of the closet and tossed them at him. “Jaq, you'll share
with me.”
“Umm...” Luke said. “Wow. I can't share a bed with my own girlfriend?”
“You know, I declare us officially broken up,” Jaqui replied. Dianna closed the
door in his face. She kicked off her shoes, threw her jacket on a chair and
turned down the bed.
“You want some water or anything?”
“Dianna?” Dianna turned around to find Jaqui on her knees on the floor, head
bowed, waiting. Oh no...that wasn't what she meant when she'd told Jaqui they
were sharing a bed. Her apartment only had two places to sleep, there wasn't
time to arrange anything else, and it would've been wrong to ask Jaqui to bed
down with a man she clearly didn't want anywhere near her. Better tread
carefully here, especially since she was so tempted by the image of Jaqui on
her knees. It wouldn't be fair or right.
“I've done bad things.”
“You don't have to-” but at Jaqui's desperate head shake, Dianna realized it'd
be wiser to keep quiet and let her finish.
“I hurt my family. I hurt you. Because I didn't know who I was or what I was
supposed to be doing, I tried to get power instead. But I lost everything, I've
even lost my home. I thought, “what am I even for? Now I know, you're what I'm
for. I can right my family's wrongs, and my own, because God has been trying to
tell me...that...I'm yours, for whatever you need me for.”
“Oh. You don't have to ever feel like you owe me for anything. I never wanted
you to feel unhappy or displaced, I didn't know. I appreciate the apology,
though, that shows me that you're really trying. ” Dianna got down on her knees
too and brushed a curl off Jaqui's cheek. Jaqui kissed her, (Oh damn, she just
had to look at this girl and she was lost). Dianna returned the kiss , cupping
Jaqui's face in her hands. Oh, she'd been waiting for this. Their kisses heated
up, they eagerly explored each other's mouths with their tongues. She unzipped
Jaqui's GUA hoodie and let it fall on the floor, they broke apart long enough
for Jaqui to lift her plum colored tank top over her head. Her bra was the same
color and satiny, with a daintily embroidered trim, probably some super
expensive brand that catered only to aristocrats, the sort of store where they
wouldn't even let you in if you weren't dressed well enough. They rose and
stumbled to the bed, Jaqui falling backwards onto the mattress. Dianna was out
of her cargo pants and t shirt in moments, grateful that Jaqui did not make fun
of her cheap, mismatched underwear. Dianna slid Jaqui's bra straps off her
shoulders, released her breasts from the cups and bent down to draw a tongue
over her nipples. Her breasts were about a cup size bigger since the last time
Dianna had been in the same room with them, which intrigued her. Jaqui had
scars on her arms, most were faded and old, Dianna kissed every one of them.
Jaqui shivered underneath her and met her eyes fiercely, still a warrior and a
queen despite whatever torment had caused her to hurt herself so badly and so
often.
“Is that what you need?” Dianna whispered. Jaqui swallowed visibly.
“Maybe,” Jaqui breathed. "I mean, that -that wasn't a sex thing, it was a Way
Out that didn't work. But pain helps me, sometimes." When I can't stand myself
and need to hurt, then be forgiven, was the unspoken conclusion to that
thought. They both knew it. Dianna had suspected it since that night at the
club, and her suspicions had been confirmed in the car on the way back from
capturing Belial, when she'd originally stumbled on that hidden switch that
that brought out a surprising side of her commander.
“I'll take whatever you've got.” Jaqui bit her on the shoulder, as if to
provoke something. "Just don't hate me any more, like everyone else does."
Dianna had a lot of ability to forgive stored up, she could certainly spare
some for the unloved and unwanted princess, who had nothing else left except
the hope that Dianna would. But she kind of did want to see Jaqui earn it, and
prove she meant what she promised. And Dianna had to admit, her motives were
not one hundred percent noble in that regard, lust was a definite contributing
factor.
“You don't want to start slow.” Jaqui shook her head. Dianna gripped a fistful
of her hair and pulled. “Tell me what you want.”
“Hurt me,” Jaqui said through her teeth.
“Pants. Off.” Dianna moved out of the way so Jaqui could tug her yoga pants
down, revealing a pair of black lace boy-cut panties and a lovely flat stomach.
Jaqui gracefully kicked the pants aside. “ Up on your knees. Turn around and
brace your hands on the headboard.” Jaqui was so hot, back arched, thighs
parted, the elegantly sculpted muscles in her back shifting as she adjusted her
position, glancing back at her with a desperate look in her eyes. Dianna
started to get wet just watching Jaqui gracefully display herself. She slipped
fingers under the waistband of Jaqui's shorts and slowly lowered them.
“By the way, my safeword is 'pancakes,'” Jaqui said.
****
Dianna awoke looking into eyes the color of a storm at sea and a halo of soft,
angelically tousled mahogany colored curls.
“Mmm. Beautiful girl.”
“Wanna go again?” Jaqui laughed, low and throaty. Dianna absently stroked a
hand up and down her spine.
“Ohhh, wish I could but I have meetings starting in about an hour.”
“Do you have a shower?”
“Yeah, it's right through that door. There's clean towels on the rack and some
unopened soap.” Dianna yawned. “ Don't take your time.”
“I didn't bring any extra clothes.” Jaqui stood up and stretched, totally
comfortable with her own nudity. Her skin bore a few small welts and bruises,
but Dianna had never seen a girl come so hard and Jaqui seemed significantly
calmer and more secure today.
“If you want something fresh, you can borrow some of my stuff.” Jaqui was two
inches shorter, and even though her arms had more muscle than Dianna
remembered, her breasts were still a bit smaller than Dianna's, her shoulders a
little narrower, and her bottom and hips curvier but they weren't so different
that they couldn't share some clothing. “I figured the first thing you'd want
to do is buy some new things.”
Jaqui paused in the bathroom doorway.
“But I don't- I don't even know how to say this because I've never had to
before, but I don't have any money. Dad took my credit cards when I was
arrested. I have a savings account offshore that Dad doesn't know about with my
army pay, some bequests from my mother's parents and something from my uncle.
But I'll have to wire it to a new account in Gath.”
“We'll worry about that later, it's your first day of freedom, after all.”
“You know,” Jaqui said, flashing Dianna a smirk, “If you join me in the shower,
we can save some hot water.”
Three Years Ago
I needed to say goodbye, but you never gave me the chance. I needed you to know
that, behind the lie, I see you... for who you really are - and I love you. And
I know you love me, and I think everyone should know. No more hiding, Jaq,
you're too brave to be such a coward.
“You're too brave to be such a coward”. Jo's final words ran through Jaqui's
head over and over. The little blonde law student was the first and only woman
she'd ever loved, from her touching naivety to the adorable way she kept her
socks on in bed. The last thing she'd said to Jo had been “You're the only real
thing I've ever touched” and she'd meant it. She'd been so wrapped up in her
own fear and pain that she'd treated Jo abysmally, in the end, and now she
could never fix it.
“I'm trying to bury this story with that girl,” Queen Rose said, striding into
the living room. “Between this and the naked photos of your brother about to
hit the internet-”
“Josephine.” Jaqui looked up from the couch where she sat, hands fidgeting in
her lap.
“ What?”
“Her name was Josephine.” Jaqui raised her voice a fraction even though it
trembled.
“ What do I care what her name was?” Rose snapped. “ She was trying to ruin
you.”
“No, she wasn't; she was trying to save me.”
“Save you - from what?” Rose sat next to her, leaning forward, trying to catch
her daughter's eyes.
“From me... and I destroyed her for it; I'm the reason she's dead.”
“ You said she was nothing to you.” Rose's voice went cold and deadly quiet.
“She loved me... and I loved her.” Guilt and shame roiled up inside her. Rose
cupped Jaqui's face in her smooth hands and forced her to look her mother in
the eyes.
“No. You didn't. You can't have. You will put this out of your mind and heart.
You will move on. ”
“I loved her...” Jaqui choked out. “ I *loved* her. I cut her out of my heart,
because that's what Dad wanted; that's what you wanted... and now the only
person who saw me - who really saw me, and still loved me - she's dead.”
“Good!” Rose slapped her. Regretting it immediately, she pulled Jaqui into an
embrace, kissed the spot she'd just slapped. “You only think you feel this way
because you had a bad experience with boys. But they're not all like that.
You'll find a nice man, settle down and learn to love him. It won't be so bad.”
She hugged Jaqui tighter. “You can move on from this mistake of character.”
Jaqui jerked her body away.
“It wasn't a mistake this is who I am,” Jaqui said stiffly and stormed from the
room before her mother could respond.
***** happiness hit her like a bullet *****
Present
In the end, Jaqui decided to wear her own clothes, plus Dianna's extra army
jacket. It wasn't the first time she'd done The Walk of Shame in the same
clothes from yesterday.
“Good morning, sir,” a uniformed officer said cheerfully as they entered the
conference room. Jaqui blinked. As an officer in Gilboa, she'd always been
addressed as 'ma'am'.
“Gathians aren't fussy about gendered titles,” Dianna explained. “This is
Captain Tammuz, my right hand man. He usually does the briefings.” Luke sat at
the far end of the conference table, nibbling on donuts and coffee. He glanced
at her unhappily, there were dark circles under his eyes. Jaqui approached and
poured herself a cup from the machine while Dianna and Tammuz discussed troop
movements and supply chains. It was too soon to insert herself into their chain
of command or offer unsolicited advice.
“I hate you,” Luke said bitterly.
“Ditto.”
She had no illusions as to why he was so unusually cranky.
“Jaq, you might want to hear this part,” Dianna said. “It's more relevant to
you.”
“Hmm?'” Jaqui turned around and took a seat at the table.
“I did the research you asked me about, and, we have two big problems,” Captain
Tammuz said. “ The first one is that Princess Jaqui is, according to the laws
of your land, legally Mrs. Lucas Wolfson.”
“What?” Jaqui sputtered.
“ They were already formally betrothed, and her father, the king, joined them
together in front of a witness, with the expectation that the union would be
consummated. I understand he did this by...locking them in a bedroom for two
years? And consummation did occur, since Mr. Wolfson is listed as the father on
the birth certificate for an Adon Elijah Benjamin...”
“So I DO have rights here?” Luke asked. "I mean, to expect stuff from my wife?"
Jaqui gave him a death glare.
“If the marriage is legal, and Mrs. Wolfson has been with anyone else since,
she's committed adultery. Your people seem to take that very seriously. The
good news is that Mr. Wolfson can divorce her on these grounds. He can have her
quietly put aside- or publicly denounced, either way, she's free to go if he
agrees.”
“Wait,” Jaqui exclaimed. “He can divorce me for adultery but I'm otherwise
stuck with him because my dad gave him permission to climb on top of me while I
was sleeping?”
“If these laws worked the other way too, your father would be in a lot of
trouble himself,” Dianna said. Jaqui glanced at her sharply. “I'll tell you
about that later.”
“She did do it,” Luke said. “Last night. All night. With her.” He pointed at
Dianna. “Dianna Shepherd stole my wife. Literally right out from under me. And
it sounded like she was torturing her in there.”
Jaqui just groaned and buried her face in her hands. Dianna rubbed the back of
her shoulders to soothe her. Captain Tammuz could not have looked more
uncomfortable with the oversharing.
“Luke, you knew who I was on our first date. And you've already thrown it back
in my face once. Why is what I did to you worse than what you did to me? ”
“In Gath, we don't judge people based on their sexual history,” Captain Tammuz
assured her.
“Fish don't have a word for water, do they?” Luke snapped. “I was the only man
left in Shiloh who would take you, Jaqui. I felt bad for you, like maybe you'd
be a nicer person if you just had a good man to take care of you.”
“I don't need a man to fix me! ”
“You owed me something after the way you treated me. ”
“May I remind you, Mr. Wolfson, “Captain Tammuz interjected, “you are a guest
in our country and you remain so because of the generosity of the woman you
sinned against. ”
“I wouldn't of been stuck in that room with her if she wasn't a traitor to her
family and Gilboa because she can't accept her natural place. When I'm with
you, I feel like the woman!”
Jaqui fled the room with a hand pressed over her mouth.
“Don't walk away from me!” Luke blurted out. He attempted to go after her, but
Tammuz easily blocked him.
“Well, that was a train-wreck,” Dianna said. “Are you guys like this all the
time?”
“That isn't the worst of it, sir,” Captain Tammuz said, turning to Dianna. “
King Silas has planted a story in the global media claiming that you kidnapped
the Wolfsons. He's pleading for the return of his “precious daughter and her
husband.”
“I might strike a deal with him for the husband. I- I- need a minute,” Dianna
said. “Excuse me.” Moments like this were a test of her new...whatever this
was...with Jaqui, it was a fragile relationship with a fragile woman. Jaqui
would remember it if she didn't go after her.
Jaqui sat out by the empty pool, hugging her knees. She couldn't think straight
with the storm raging in her head. She was now almost everything she'd never
wanted to be. Even being with Dianna was soured by the realization that she was
yoked to someone she'd hoped she could escape. And it twisted her up inside to
hear Adon mentioned so casually.
They took Luke away while she was pregnant, because his job was done for the
time being and because they might've killed each other, otherwise. Jaqui tried
hard not to love her baby, tried to think of it as a temporary disease. There
was no question of getting rid of it, they made sure she never had the chance
and anyway, that would have only prolonged her punishment. She delivered in a
comfortable private suite of a private hospital, but with no pain killing
drugs, according to Silas's wishes. The hospital staff begged him to allow them
to give her something, anything, but he refused. She was young, healthy and
strong, she endured, and gave birth to a baby boy. After he was washed, she got
to hold him, and name him (a shortened version of an ancient name that meant
“my lord is Yahweh”, because she had prayed, desperately, for the first time in
years, for the strength to get through it), before armed guards took him away.
Against her father's wishes, the nurses slipped her a sedative, fearing that
she'd hurt herself otherwise. They were probably right.
It was easy to get her pre baby body again. After all, there was little else to
do except work out and her mother hired a dietician to plan her meals (“there's
no reason to let ourselves go, dear”). Getting back to normal became a personal
challenge to occupy her time. So, aside from going up a size in shoes and bras,
and lactating for a brief period (because her body wanted to feed a baby that
she had no access to), it was almost as if she'd never been pregnant. Almost.
She couldn't even hear him crying, because he'd been removed to the other
house. That was good, right?
Silas never promised he'd let them go after they produced an heir. They got to
move to a bigger suite that still had a guard outside and bars on the windows.
He agreed to let Luke go- if the baby lived, but otherwise, they only let her
out, under guard, to walk for two hours once a day.
Every day, on that walk, she thought about jumping into the harbor. She'd had
dark, suicidal thoughts for years and in her father's prison, there was no
distraction from them or hope for the future.
“Hey, you okay?” Dianna asked, sitting next to her on the pool's cement steps.
Jaqui glared, because that really didn't deserve an answer. “They said in the
newspapers that King Silas had a grandson, apparently his bris was tasteful and
well attended. You weren't really mentioned, but it's making a lot of people
angry that you're never seen in public anymore. Did your dad take the baby
away? ”
“I didn't want him, and I barely got to hold him anyway,” Jaqui said, utterly
failing to sound like she totally didn't care. “ What is this place? I mean,
what was it before?” It had an eerie quality, like one of those places where
the past lingers and echoes of it might just as well be the ghosts of other
worlds and other futures.
“Oh, uh- it was the King of Gath's palace. A long time ago, before the Glorious
Revolution. He locked his entire court inside the ballroom when the Gathians
finally came for him. Everyone drank poison rather than be taken alive with
him. He um- he used to hang the bodies of his enemies by the pool.”
“I think I'm gonna throw up,” Jaqui said.
“It's getting cold,” Dianna said. “Come on inside.”
***** Chapter 5 *****
As she flashed back to Jaqui's confessions,apology and promise of loyalty, she
was more than a little angry on Jaqui's behalf. Jaqui's husband was so busy
complaining about the role she'd failed at playing, maybe if he'd stepped up
and acted like a man instead of whining about how no one would let him- but his
wife was a queen, and she didn't owe it to anyone to minimize herself, to
pretend to be less in case she came off as emasculating. Dianna had earned
(earned, not won) Jaqui's submission because she'd never pursued it. Didn't
need it to feel powerful, didn't think she deserved it by default. It would've
been worthless if it wasn't genuine. Making it into a man/woman thing was just
stupid, Jaqui had chosen a supportive role, she'd also chosen a woman.
Dianna sank into the cushions of the backseat of their town car, slid the skirt
of her suit up over her thighs to keep it safe and pulled Jaqui into her lap.
Jaqui had no panties on under her skirt, just bare softness. Jaqui rolled her
hips, elegant, well practiced undulations, wet pussy rubbing slowly, then more
urgently against Dianna's thigh.
Dianna's phone rang, and Jaqui's face fell comically.
“Don't answer that,” Jaqui snapped.”Don't you dare answer.”
“Hey, Mom.”
“Hnnnhh,” Jaqui said. She shifted her hips, trying to get some relief for the
overwhelming ache. Dianna stilled her movements with a hand on her waist.
“No, I'm great.” Pause. “Oh, that's nice, I know they were really trying.”
“Please,” Jaqui mouthed, with dewy pink lips built for pouting...or for going
down on you in the shower, the way she had their first morning together. Jaqui
gripped fistfuls of Dianna's shirt, and attempted to shift her hips again.
Dianna smirked.
“What noise? Mom, I don't hear a weird noise on my end, it must be your phone.
I have news too. I met someone, and I want to bring them for Passover.” Jaqui
started trailing little kisses over her neck and shoulders. Dianna relaxed her
hold on Jaqui, because she couldn't be that cruel. “See you then, love yah.”
She turned her full attention to kissing Jaqui, and cupping her breasts through
her shirt, rubbing a thumb over her nipples. Her own body stirred watching
Jaqui pleasure herself. Jaqui gripped her shoulder hard, her hip movements
slowing to a shaky stop, accompanied by a high pitched moan.
Jaqui sagged, boneless, against her with a satisfied sigh. Dianna smiled into
Jaqui's curls. She'd have to rinse Jaqui's...enthusiasm...out of her nylons
before the press conference. But she wanted her own turn first.
“You want me to meet your family?” Jaqui asked skeptically.
“You're important to me,” Dianna replied.
“I thought your mom wouldn't speak to you any more after the Port Prosperity
debacle.”
“She forgave me. When I got sent on that mission for Silas, my mom waited in
Unity Hall every day for news. It's what a mom does.”
“Not my mom,”Jaqui snorted. “My mom tricks you into thinking everything will be
okay, but it's just so she can hurt you more. ”
"That sounds like a story I'm not sure I want to hear."
Jaqui grinned impishly at Dianna and reached for her crotch. "Need to get off
to calm your pre press conference nerves?"
Several Years Ago
Jaqui crept down the stairs, hoping to get a late night snack of something
fatty and cheesy. She heard voices in the living room and paused. Her mom
and...a much deeper voice that she recognized as Reverend Samuels.
“Most fifteen year olds are difficult,” the Reverend said.
“Jaqui has always been a handful,” her mother admitted. “Mike's the reliable,
well behaved one, Jaqui's our little wild card. But now my daughter is angry
and promiscuous. Tantrums, lying, sneaking out,drinking and drugs, Ephraim, she
scares me. I can't help her, I'm out of ideas.”
“And you want me to counsel her.”
“Maybe she'll talk to you. She won't talk to me.”
Jaqui was sitting in a pew when Reverend Samuels came out of his office. It was
cold in the temple, so she had her hands stuffed in the pockets of her princess
seamed wool coat. The reverend joined her in the pew, but at a respectful
distance.
“Well, I'm here,” she said. “Let's get spiritual.”
“Your mother tells me you've been struggling. With mood swings, defiance,
drinking-”
“I'm very stressed,” Jaqui deadpanned.
“Sometimes, when we're really sad, it's hard to talk about.”
“They don't like it when I try to show how I feel,” Jaqui said. “I'm supposed
to be a block of ice. Or maybe like, a tree. I'm scared all the time but I'm
angry too, because I don't understand and it's not fair.”
“What's not fair?” Samuels asked.
“That I'm ruined and everyone knows. And don't tell me it's not my fault, I
know that.” School was rough, the other kids treated her with a mixture of fear
and pity, the boys were intrigued, because no one really knew the details but
they knew she was “fast” and that something shameful and sexual had gone down.
Or maybe Jaqui Benjamin had a mental breakdown, they'd heard she'd attacked a
guy and the cops had been summoned to the Mansion. Incidents like this made the
international tabloids, people in other countries could read about her "violent
streak". “Everyone wants a piece of me and I'm not a person any more.”
“But what do you want?”
“I-” Jaqui said. “I want to go somewhere no one knows me.”
Her parents sat her down a few days later and asked her about her plans for the
future. They thought she might be happier going away for high school and wanted
her to pick one. Jaqui chose Gilboa's military academy, locked away on a secure
base in the mountains. Mom wasn't thrilled, but Daddy reminded her that Gilboa
was unlikely to ever pass a law permitting women to serve in combat anyway.
Gilboa's restriction on women in combat was lifted when Jaqui was twenty. Why
not? It was peace time anyway.
***** after the storm I ran and ran *****
Chapter Summary
     graphic rape flashback warning
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Present
Jaqui padded around Dianna's kitchen, pouring cereal and coffee while she read
over the paperwork that had been delivered that morning. They were legal forms,
applications to sue for divorce in a religious tribunal( since her father
controlled the secular courts) . There were new priests in Gilboa, young,
modern guys, who might not share her father's medieval views, and probably
weren't insane like her dad either. Captain Tammuz was in the process of
figuring out how to accomplish this when both parties were located out of
jurisdiction. The legalese gave her a headache, so she put the papers aside and
turned on the tv.
Andrew Cross. Andrew fucking Cross, standing next to her father on a podium,
with flags behind them. Jaqui muted the tv and just watched. She'd known, of
course, it had just never sunk in the way it did now. Just how far off the deep
end had Silas gone? He'd promised Andrew would never come back. And yeah, she
knew it was a promise that hadn't meant much, but actually giving Andrew a role
in government was an abomination and a slap in the face.
It happened when she was fourteen, the second night of the New Moon festival.
Her parents and Michael went to a dinner at the Library Foundation and gave all
the servants their traditional night off, only keeping a skeleton crew on at
the gatehouse. Her cousin Andrew Cross, who was staying with them for the
summer at The Vineyard, stayed behind claiming he had the flu. Jaqui was
grounded for sneaking out to a concert. It was a bad omen when the sky burst
into torrents of rain and thunder, but Daddy said being able to actually see
the new moon wasn't a requirement.
"Be nice to Andrew," Queen Rose admonished. "Make sure he has everything he
needs." She didn't want to do anything of the sort but knew she'd hear about it
if she left him up in his room, sick or hungry or in need of Kleenex.
Jaqui enjoyed making her own dinner and wandering around the house barefoot.
She snooped in other people's drawers, looking for blackmail opportunities,
while the rain splashed down outside. He asked her to bring him some soup. And
ginger ale. And then he wanted the crackers crumbled in the broth, he was too
weak to do it himself. So she opened the package for him, and crumbled them,
and put the tray on the nightstand so he didn't have to get up. His hand closed
around her wrist.
“Don't go. We haven't talked in so long.”
“Because you tried to watch me change my clothes,” Jaqui replied. “When I went
swimming.”
“I was just curious. Because you're so pretty.” His grip on her wrist was like
iron. Had he even really had the flu at all?
“That's not the way you show it. ” He'd been bothering her for two years, ever
since her body started noticeably changing. She was sure he stole articles of
her clothing, and sometimes, when she took showers, she heard someone jiggling
the locked doorknob. He watched her eat. He always noticed when her school
uniform skirt was too short. Once, he'd tried to kiss her in the garden. When
she tried to tell other people, they lectured her on the importance of being
kind and polite. But he'd never done anything violent, although Mike claimed
he'd seen Andrew torturing a cat once.
He stuck his hand up her white sundress and pulled her underwear down. Jaqui
tried to pull away. People called her a troublemaker but she wasn't, not in
that way, she was a good girl and he was her cousin and creepy and eww. He
clumsily shoved his fingers inside her.
“No,” she said clearly and loudly, trying to push his hand away. “I don't want
to do that with you.”
“Those short skirts, and tight tops....” He moaned a little. “ I thought you
didn't even like boys , I saw you holding hands with that girl. You practiced
kissing with her and you let her put her hand up your blouse. I was so jealous
and angry, you shouldn't waste your beautiful body on someone who can't even
give you what you need. I thought how great I could be at showing you what
you've been missing. You'll like it, I promise.”
“No.”
He yanked her onto the bed, during their flailing and struggling, her underwear
landed on the floor, freeing her legs. Andrew's mouth descended on hers, clumsy
and sloppy. Jaqui scratched his cheek with her fingernails and kicked him hard
in the shins. She played on a coed soccer team, her kicks were strong.
“That.wasn't.very nice,” he said, voice surprisingly mild. Jaqui ran for the
door. She stumbled barefoot through the dimly lit mansion, crashing into the
mahogany bookshelves and priceless paintings. She heard Andrew calling for her
in a sweet, chuckling voice. “Jaqui, come back. I was only playing.” Jaqui
burst into the solarium, her heart pounding wildly. “Jaqui, I'm going to find
you and you'll be sorry you ran away from me.”
There was a panic button somewhere in there, if she could just remember where.
The huge windows that looked out on the ocean let in more light, she saw waves
cresting and trees outside tossing violently back and forth. She ran to the
china cabinet and wrenched open a drawer, looking for something, anything,
sharp. Jaqui grabbed a mother of pearl handled steak knife that was part of a
set gifted to them by the young King Aedmund of Albion. She spun around and
found herself face to face with Andrew. Lightening flashed outside and briefly
illuminated the whole room...and Andrew's insane smile. Jaqui screamed.
“Be nice to me,” Andrew said pleasantly, clapping a hand over her mouth. He
pulled her down on the carpet, ripping her dress in the process. Her knife
clattered away under the coffee table. And then he was on top of her and inside
her, moving. It hurt so much and she was so frightened that she began to cry in
earnest. Thunder boomed, wind and rain lashed the windows. When she tried to
scratch him again, he rolled her onto her stomach and thrust back inside her
mercilessly. It went on for an agonizingly long time, as she wept and silently
prayed for help and then Andrew jerked on top of her and groaned. Breathing
hard, he pulled out, relaxed and distracted for a moment. In the split second
she needed it, lighting lit the room again and she saw the knife within reach.
Jaqui grabbed it, and stabbed him in the thigh. Andrew howled. He howled again
when she pulled the knife out. Jaqui struggled to her feet and ran for the
front door, leaving her cousin flailing on the carpet. She fled, bruised and
bloody, sobbing, barefoot and now soaking wet, down the driveway toward the
gatehouse.
She ran smack into Thomasina, who'd come home early to check on them. Calm,
capable, ruthless Thomasina ordered a guard from the gatehouse to stand watch
over Andrew, called her parents, an ambulance, and the police, immediately and
in that order. Daddy rode with her in the ambulance, gripping her blood smeared
hand. She remembered the doors closing on an image of the cops leading Andrew
away in handcuffs. He smiled when he saw her.
“Jaqui, will you wait for me?” He called out.
At the hospital, Thomasina, and a female police officer stood by while a nurse
did the rape kit, and Doctor Whalen asked a few basic questions and gave her a
pill to swallow (that would make her vomit later). Then the policewoman took
her statement. They took her dress away for evidence, but some royal staffer
showed up with a new outfit, that she changed into after they finally let her
shower. Paparazzi cameras flashed as they left the building, she didn't look,
just huddled inside the cheap black hoodie. Her mom tried to be comforting on
the drive home but she wasn't exactly prepared for this scenario. At home, she
sat on the edge of Jaqui's bed and asked if she had any questions. Since the
only question she had was “Why?”, Jaqui didn't speak. She just curled away and
stared at the wall, still in her replacement hospital clothes. She was still
bleeding, still in pain, still terrified, and dutifully took the sleeping pill
her mother had procured.
“The day you learn what men are capable of,” Queen Rose said, “is the day you
know what it means to be a woman.”
They never needed the rape kit. Andrew never got a fair trial in a public
court. Silas was judge and jury, exiling Andrew from Gilboa for life, most
people knew he'd gotten off easy. Andrew's father, her Uncle William, put four
million dollars in a trust for her, paying her family damages as the law
recommended.
“Is that how much I'm worth, Daddy?” she asked after they finished signing the
papers in the presence of their various family attorneys. The idea troubled
her. She'd spent most of the meeting staring down at her penny loafers and
nervously adjusting her silk headband, while they spoke about her and the value
of her virginity- but without coming out and saying it- as if she wasn't
sitting right there.
“No, Puppy, you're priceless. This is just a ritual, a formality to show that
they acknowledge our pain.” He moved to kiss her forehead and frowned when she
flinched away. A formality, like celebrating the new moon in a thunderstorm. Of
course Daddy was upset, she understood that, no one wanted to watch their child
go through something like this but no one else had the right to claim they hurt
as much as she did.
She knew it wasn't her fault, and everyone kept saying it wasn't, yet nobody
looked at her the same way after that. Even though she was only fourteen, she'd
already begun to figure out her body was Gilboa's body. If too many people
found out their family shame, she wouldn't make a good marriage and let down
the entire kingdom. Andrew had been charged with rape, but the main charge, the
official reason for exile, was treason, for endangering the future of the
kingdom.
Years later, that protective father would turn on her, and be complicit in her
second rape, for exactly the same reason. Her body was Gilboa's, and Gilboa
needed its royal bloodline.
Jaqui wasn't even sure how it happened, but Dianna found her standing over the
sink,dazed, holding a knife to her wrist.
“Baby,” Dianna said gently and took it away from her. “You don't have to tell
me why, but I can't lose you that way. Not now. Please.” Dianna guided her to
the couch, Jaqui curled up, squeezed her eyes shut because she couldn't stand
the pity in Dianna's eyes. “Hey...hey...don't hide.” Dianna retrieved her
guitar from where it rested on an armchair and began to strum a gentle tune.
When you're weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all
Jaqui's smile was a little shaky, but the soothing tune and Dianna's rich alto
began to work a sort of magic on her. She felt warm, and cherished and
beautiful inside, like maybe she could be okay after all.
I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Chapter End Notes
     A couple of weeks later, Rose is inspecting the guest rooms and
     discovers Jaqui's white cotton panties under the bed in the room
     Andrew stayed in. Her ice queen facade cracks, she finds herself
     crying. Then she takes Jaqui shopping for a more grownup wardrobe,
     because, like it or not, she's not a baby any more.
     song is "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Simon and Garfunkel.
***** by the dashboard light *****
Three Years Ago
This mission to capture Belial was supposed to be her chance. Her first time
back on active duty in months, her chance to show that she could still do her
job. A chance to be in charge of something again. But Dianna Shepherd, as
usual, kept ruining it. She seemed to think orders only applied to other
people, even questioning her commander in front of the squad. She had to admit,
Dianna was right a lot of the time, but it was hard enough being a female
officer on active duty without being constantly undermined by a woman she
outranked.
A knockout punch and a heart to heart later, and they were driving a stolen
vehicle toward the Gilboan border. Jaqui pulled the car over by the side of the
road to check their coordinates. The rest of their squad were on the way, and
their prisoner was unconscious in the back, so for the moment, they had peace
and quiet. It had been a rough couple of days and stress relief was in short
supply lately.
Adrenaline always made her kind of horny. She wanted to get off, preferably
with the blonde Amazon sitting next to her- sex, and maybe a little pain to
relieve the guilt of having punched her lights out. But on her own terms,
unlike every single other thing that had happened on the mission so far.
“Why are you looking at me like that, ma'am?” Dianna asked.
“Danger gives me a girl-boner,” she admitted with a sly little smirk. Dianna
guffawed.
“Yeah, me too.”
“Then let's do something about it,” Jaqui said, shifting towards her and
licking her lips slowly. Warmth pooled in her lower body, and she heard
Dianna's breath catch.
“Aren't we breaking at least two serious rules?” Dianna asked.
“This,” Jaqui said, trailing kisses over her neck,” is a secret mission. No one
will ask, so we don't have to tell. Up for it?”
“I told you I'm not a saint,” Dianna replied, fumbling for the zipper on her
pants. Jaqui pushed her hands away and did it for her. She stroked between
Dianna's legs, gratified when the other girl began rocking against her hand.
With the other hand, Jaqui started undoing her own fatigues, she intended to
make Dianna get her off eventually but first, she would make Dianna come to
show that she was the one in control here.
Dianna had never imagined Jaqui's fingers were so talented. She was almost
embarrassed by the filthy moans that escaped her mouth. Almost. Swollen, and
wet, she shifted her thighs apart further. Jaqui balanced herself by holding
onto Dianna's shoulder, bringing her warm body too close for Dianna to handle.
Dianna cupped her perky ass, feeling the muscles shift, and gave it a sharp
tap. She had no idea why she did that and she was afraid Jaqui would punch her
or something like she had earlier. Jaqui bit her full lower lip,hesitated, and
then kissed her roughly. Want took over. Dianna pushed Jaqui up against the
seat, Jaqui let out a surprised little grunt, her eyes lit up with need. It
sent another flush of arousal through her entire body like an electric current.
It was a powerful thing, being able to make her superior officer make those
noises. She fingered Jaqui, opening her like a flower, searching out all those
little pleasure spots. She understood now, all those comparisons of sex to
conquering. Jaqui was responding, with pleased, desperate cries, melting into
her, her own fingers faltering and her hands falling away as she seemed to
forget everything else. Dianna grabbed Jaqui's hand and pressed it back in
place, too far gone to care that she was a little rough about it. From the
change in Jaqui's breathing and the way she only got wetter when Dianna's nail
accidentally scratched her wrist, she guessed it was the right move.
Jaqui felt herself falling apart, her mind and body warring between the fog of
aching pleasure and the realization that she had lost control of the situation.
Again. Wasn't there anything Dianna didn't try to take over? And she stupidly
loved it , the terrifying knowledge that Dianna was taking over her orgasms in
addition to the mission, her family, and her entire life. Because she could be
the slave of anyone who made her feel this good, spread out, exposed, displayed
half naked. Self preservation kicked in through the haze of ohmygodthatsgood.
No! It wasn't fair, Dianna didn't get to have this too.
“Stop!” Jaqui shoved her away violently. Dianna fell backwards, blinking, hurt
and confused.
“Sorry, Major,” Dianna spat out bitterly. “It was a mistake.” Jaqui got her
breathing under control as she rearranged her clothing. Dianna kept her face
angrily turned away, a perfect stony faced soldier again. Jaqui would've found
the fact that Dianna had tears in her eyes, funny, if she wasn't just as
disappointed and angry.
“Let's get moving before the prisoner wakes up.”
***** I learned the truth at seventeen *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Several Years Ago
Queen Rose insisted on putting Jaqui through all the standard protocol training
and classes on the social graces even while Jaqui fought to achieve top marks
at the military academy. She simply had tutors come in, or had Jaqui driven to
lessons with other girls of suitable social rank. The Queen was determined to
build a debutante tradition in Gilboa, she would control the social strata of
the country's noble ladies and they would all bow to her if they wanted to be a
part of society. Jaqui was good at everything she was asked to learn, both at
school and in her mother's supplemental classes, but being good at those things
left her little time to explore much else. She sometimes thought she'd crack
into pieces from the stress, toward the end of her school career, free time was
often spent in an alcoholic haze, experimenting with sex and interesting
substances. She had a monster hangover the day her parents called with the bad
news, she stood in her dorm room chugging water and painkillers as they told
her that her brother had been admitted to the hospital.
Her brother Michael nearly died of testicular cancer in their seventeenth year.
Jaqui was forced to continue her schooling while her twin lay hooked up to
beeping machines in a hospital. They sent each other goofy cards and talked
online but he was often too tired to talk for long. The night he nearly did
die, Jaqui got so drunk she received several demerits for unbecoming conduct.
But Michael lived, her father claimed it was a miracle, and Jaqui graduated
with honors from the military academy, along with thirty other young men and
women, in an elaborately choreographed ceremony covered in the international
press. King Silas was there to hand out special awards, and Reverend Samuels to
give the benediction.
“You've surprised me, I'm quite proud of you,” Silas told her as they crossed
the tarmac to a helicopter that would take them back to Shiloh and civilian
life. The royal presentations at court were scheduled for the next evening.
Jaqui, a newly minted Army officer, was supposed to put on a ballgown and
pretend she was exactly the same as all the other girls.
Jaqui's ballgown was bolstered by layers and layers of petticoats and tulle,
with a full organza skirt, tight bodice and an off the shoulder yet modest
neckline. She wore matching little silk slippers embroidered with a subtle
flower design. Her dark curls were upswept and her makeup professionally
applied to make her look both demure and eye catching. Her entire look was the
result of a whole day's work, with months of dieting and fittings before that.
She had been washed, rubbed, plucked, shaved, powdered, and exfoliated until
she was buffed, shiny and perfect, designed to come off as pure and virginal, a
far cry from reality (but we didn't speak about the Incident any more). Jaqui
lifted a dainty necklace featuring diamonds and sapphires (to bring out her
eyes)from its dove gray velvet box.
“Let me do that,” Mike offered, strolling into her dressing room. He
efficiently fastened it around her pale throat, and sat next to her on the
tufted bench. Mike was pale, and thin, drawn about the eyes but slowly
recovering, although when he thought no one was looking, his limbs trembled. He
wouldn't do any dancing tonight.
“Thanks.”
“You look so pretty,” Mike said. “I can' t even...wow.” He stared down at his
hands, as if he had something important he needed to tell her. “I gotta talk to
you.”
“Okay,” Jaqui said. Like good news ever started that way.
“Jaqui,” Mike said. “I can't give the kingdom an heir. I-I- the cancer
treatments-I'm sterile.” He took her hands in his, they were big now and would
be strong again soon, while hers remained smaller and deceptively delicate with
nails painted pearl gray. “Any children of yours will be the kingdom's only
heirs. It means for-for all our sakes...Oh, I hate that I have to ask you to do
this. I told Mom and Dad that it was probably better if I told you myself...”
“Fuck your cancer,” Jaqui snapped. Then she pressed a hand to her mouth. “I'm
sorry. I'm so sorry.”
“No,” Mike said, pulling her in for a hug even though she was the one who
should've hugged him first. “I feel that way about it all the time. You can
swear at my cancer, I'm not friends with it. It's ruining everything. It's
ruining your chance at happiness too.”
“ What other choice to do we have?” Jaqui said. She could hardly refuse this
request or ignore the reality of their situation but she could feel her whole
imagined future crumbling. Babies some day were one thing, babies as soon as
possible were entirely different. She kept stubbornly trying boys but most
encounters left her at best, unsatisfied. She didn't understand what other
girls were talking about when they said it felt good and the boys never noticed
she wasn't enjoying herself. She dreaded attempting to make a baby with one
even if it would put her own child on the throne eventually. “It's time to grow
up, right?”
“I find it all kind of silly,”Mike said. “The puffy dresses, the waltzing, what
does any of that have to do with anything like being an adult? Girls are
weird.”
“Oh, this is hardly more embarrassing than your Bar Mitzvah.”
“Really?” Mike laughed.
“Today I am a man.” She mimicked his squeaking thirteen year old voice.
“That's enough, children,” Queen Rose said. She carried an ornate wooden box.
“Mike, why don't you go wait with your father?” Mike knew an order couched as a
suggestion when he heard one. The queen stood next to her, and opened the box.
A delicate silver and diamond tiara rested on a pillow inside. The crowns were
rarely taken out of the government's vault. They had not been designed or made
by anyone working for the current dynasty, they'd been in Shiloh much longer,
some said it was bad luck to wear them at all, but Silas wanted to make a point
about how thoroughly he'd conquered Vesper Abbadon. Jaqui had never before
wondered just exactly who used to wear the crown in which she was about to
debut.
“This is a privilege, remember,” her mother said. “Be worthy of it.” She
carefully placed the tiara on Jaqui's head and secured it with dark colored
bobby pins. “Beautiful and all grown up. You've been a woman for a while,
sooner than I might have wished, but tonight, everyone will see you as one.
That comes with responsibilities. Your brother has spoken to you about what
we'll require from you in the near future?”
“Yes, ma'am.” Jaqui slid long white satin gloves over her slightly trembling
arms.
“We're counting on you. Your task begins tonight and you will not fail, is that
understood?” She spoke firmly but lovingly, as if she wasn't changing the
course of her daughter's entire life.
“Yes, ma'am.” Yes, ma'am, I will die inside to everything I ever wanted in
service of my family and I'll bow to your will. Literally. She sat,
expressionless, hands folded tightly in her lap, un shed tears stinging behind
her eyes. Can't ruin the makeup, after all. It felt like a deep and terrible
loss of all the things she could now, never be.
Tonight was a night for the women of Gilboa to shine. Wealthy women competed to
see who could get dresses and jewelry from the best designers, it was the
culmination of years of grooming their daughters in protocol and waltzing in
order to sell them to the highest bidder. Oh, no one was talking about that
part, but it was definitely a component in other societies that historically
practiced the debutante system. Here are our daughters, see what expensive
investments we've made in them, don't make us regret it. The thrones were
brought out in the big formal ballroom, tonight the queen would sit in the
center with her husband and son off to the side in their tuxedos. A string
quartet played light, amusing waltzes in the background while Gilboa's elite
roamed the room. Jaqui took her place at the head of the line of girls waiting
in an ante room. Because she was lead deb by default, she took time out to
alternately shush the other girls and soothe their nerves. These were not the
troops she'd dreamed of leading but she was well practiced at it and they
followed her around like little well dressed ducklings. The crowd settled down,
she heard voices making pompous proclamations before a couple of guards opened
the heavy oak doors.
“Princess Jacqueline Esther Benjamin, escorted by Captain Joshua Austin.”
Jaqui took a deep breath and stepped out. The room went quiet as she walked
forward, not too slow, not too fast, with her head held high and still like
there was still a dictionary balanced on top. Camera bulbs flashed courtesy of
the handful of photographers given permission to record the event. Time seemed
to slow down as she approached the dais where her parents and brother stood.
Jaqui stopped in front of her mother and folded into a deep, graceful curtsey,
hardly daring to look up. For most of these girls, it was just symbolic, but to
Jaqui and her parents, it signified acceptance of their new plan for her life.
Even the princess must acknowledge her submission to the queen in public.
Especially the princess. She counted out the required seconds, and rose without
incident, assisted by Captain Austin, a handsome but utterly generic boy her
parents had picked out, who turned her to face the audience. She did a second,
less protracted and deep, curtsey, flashed a sparkling smile at the world, and
the whole room applauded. Tomorrow's top celebrity feature on UNN, a girl
walked across a room in a pretty dress. Hand resting lightly on Captain
Austin's arm, she moved away as the next girl was announced.
The girls twirled around the dancefloor with their escorts for the first formal
dance, all in time together and all in white. Captain Austin wasn't a great
dancer, so Jaqui subtly led him, while occasionally turning her head to smile
charmingly at the press. On one of these smiling, spinning turns, she caught
the eye of a petite, curly haired blonde girl in the arms of her own date. Her
blue eyes seemed to see right through all Jaqui's pretenses, making Jaqui
blush, and falter, and gasp.
“Sorry, did I step on your foot?” Captain Austin asked.
“No, I-” Jaqui trailed off. “I need a breather.” It took two songs for her to
accomplish an escape, she made a beeline for the refreshments when she saw the
blonde girl sneaking an extra three or four mini blueberry cheesecake tarts.
Frustratingly, the girl was gone when she reached the table, but she saw a
blonde head disappearing around a corner. Jaqui grabbed a couple of the tarts
and followed.
“I know, it's like we've been starving for months, they keep showing us all
this food and we're not actually supposed to eat it,” Jaqui said, surprising
the girl in the act of stuffing her face. "No one ever told me there was a
fasting vow involved."
“Oh my gosh, I'm so hungry,” she admitted. “I couldn't stand it any longer.”
“I'm Jacqueline.”
Jaqui nibbled on a tart and discreetly licked her lips. The other girl's eyes
zeroed in on her mouth and they both flushed.
“Oh, I know. I mean- everyone knows. Josephine Lasile, but I prefer Jo.”
“I do make an effort to get to know all the girls at least a bit,” Jaqui said.
“But I only noticed you just now, so rude of me. Would you like to get some
air?” Gloved arm in gloved arm, they slipped out a side door into Altar
Mansion's garden. Soon, couples would stray out into the dimly illuminated
paths to look at the stars but for now, they were alone. They strolled, talking
quietly among the scent of cherry blossoms. About movies, music, comparing the
schools they'd just graduated from. Jaqui found herself telling Jo things she'd
never told anyone else, forgetting the danger of being too open with not just a
subject but a virtual stranger.
“My whole future is already planned out by other people. Every part of it."
"Everything?"
"I didn't even exactly choose this dress,"Jaqui said. " I feel like a doll in
it. And tonight I made a promise to someone, that I'm petrified of actually
keeping.”
“A marriage thing,” Jo said astutely. Jaqui nodded helplessly. It filled her
with a panic she couldn't quite vocalize but she made a stammering effort
anyway.
“What if I don't love him? The guy they pick if I don't pick for myself, and
soon? What if I can't love anyone? What if doing what they want kills anything
real that I am?”
Jo pressed her lips to Jaqui's gently. Jaqui stood there for a second, shocked
at her new friend's boldness. And then she gave herself into it wholeheartedly.
It was supposed to be wrong, a violation of God's laws. But no, this was right.
This was what all her interactions with boys never had, there was nothing
forced or awkward or about kissing Jo. She'd kissed girls before, once before
The Bad Thing happened, and later because boys thought it was hot. But this was
no semi humiliating performance , Jo, she was warm and soft and tasted like
blueberry cheesecake, and they both gave and took equally. She wanted this,
mostly with Jo, but definitely this, girls and nothing else.
"Jaqui! Jaqui!" Someone- Thomasina- was calling for her.
"I want to see you again," Jo blurted out as Jaqui gasped and stepped away
quickly.
"I'll find a way, " Jaqui assured her. Thomasina came around the corner, and
raised an eyebrow at them.
"You're needed inside, Miss." Jaqui followed her, forcing herself not to look
back at Josephine. It would go better for both of them if her dream died in the
garden.
Chapter End Notes
     will be taking a short break to polish this and decide where it's
     going in the future.
     If this was filmed, I'd imagine the slightly smoother, more orchestra
     version of
      
     this
      
     playing at some point in the background while the extras in white
     dresses and tuxes are dancing (in elaborately choreographed
     formations) and Jo and Jacqui are falling in love.
***** Chapter 9 *****
Three Years Ago
“I thought I asked you to meet me inside,” William said, sliding into the
backseat of Jaqui's car. It was raining, he snapped a dripping umbrella closed.
“Is Andrew home?” She already knew the answer, she'd seen his blond head
peeking out from behind some upstairs window curtains.
“Oh, yes. I apologize, I should've warned you that he would be home. He usually
is, since he came back. I can't get that boy to go out and meet people.”
“Do you really want him to?” Jaqui asked, raising an eyebrow. “He's not people,
after all.”
“Jaqui,” William admonished. But she'd seen the uncomfortable look in his eyes
when the subject of Andrew came up in polite conversation. “From now on, our
meetings will take place in cars or at my office. I don't want to make this
hard on you.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
He placed a reassuring hand on her arm. She anxiously shifted away.
“I'm not here to make use of what I paid for. I'm a lot of things but I assure
you, I have no interest in screwing my niece in the back of a car.”
“So you wanna wait til we get to a hotel?” Jaqui asked, semi sarcastically,
tapping her fingers nervously on the armrest. Uncle William didn't have a wife,
after all, and she'd never quite figured him out. What was his deal? Men?
Women? Apple pies? Potted plants? And she didn't know if she'd be relieved if
he wanted her or completely beyond freaked out. Either way, she needed him if
she wanted that crown and that might mean finding out.
“No. My god, you're a damaged young lady. You owe me nothing until there's a
crown on your head. Now, where shall we have lunch?”
Present Day
“Dianna, I want to buy us a new apartment,” Jaqui announced as their driver
pulled into the secure parking garage behind the Capitol Building. “Don't
argue, I can easily afford it now that I've transferred some money.”
“Just how much money do you have?” Dianna asked. “And you don't have to buy us
an apartment.” They stepped out, escorted by Tammuz and Perez, they entered a
creaky, dingy elevator and rode it to the second floor.
“Oh yes, I do,” Jaqui said. “I spent two years locked in a bedroom. I want more
space. I need more space. If I don't get my own bathroom again soon, I swear
I'll turn violent.”
“Are you trying to pick an argument because you're nervous about today?” Dianna
asked. Jaqui was. She was dealing with a serious case of cold feet. Bitching
helped, usually. But she rolled her eyes and pretended otherwise.
“If you'd like to freshen up, there's a ladies room down the hall,” Captain
Tammuz said. “You've got a half hour.” Dianna and Jaqui slipped through the
doors while the soldiers waited a discreet distance outside.
“Is this the money from your uncle?” Dianna asked. She inspected herself from
all angles in the long mirror. They both wore dark colored linen blazers,
coordinated with linen skirts. Professional, but not intimidating, nice but not
too glamorous. And they both felt weird without their dress uniforms, but of
course, Jaqui had left hers behind in Shiloh, if she even still had a formal
rank and Dianna wanted the Gathians to feel comfortable around her (and she'd
also been stripped of formal rank). “Why did he leave you a trust?”
“You know how my pussy is causing an international incident?” Jaqui leaned in
close and breathed in Dianna's ear, brushing their breasts together. “It's
worth four million dollars. Most expensive thing you've ever had your mouth on-
unless you went around licking my parents furniture.”
“Don't talk like that.” Dianna frowned. “Don't put yourself down.” Jaqui cocked
her head.
“I'm not.”
Dianna turned Jaqui to face the mirror. With an arm looped around her waist,
she kissed Jaqui's ear, her neck, and just under her collar.
“I don't understand how or why you know that figure,” she murmured. Jaqui
shivered. Dianna slid her hands up Jaqui's skirt, lowering her stockings. She
gently drew Jaqui's thin silk panties to her knees. “Or how your uncle fits
in.”
“Surprisingly well,” Jaqui said. “He had a lot of stamina for someone over 40.
He said I was the tightest thing he'd ever been in and gave me a trust fund. ”
A partial lie, she said it to get a rise out of Dianna and it worked. OW! That
stung, she wiggled her ass against the warm palm that was now rubbing her skin.
Dianna's long fingers slipped inside her wetness, Jaqui moaned. Dianna rocked
her fingers in a steady rhythm.
“ That's my Jaqui,” Dianna purred.
Jaqui began to tremble, pleasure overwhelming her whole body. Her hands slid on
the wet countertop, legs shook, unbalanced on her high heels. Her glance slid
away, nervous about how public this act was. Anyone could walk in at any
moment. Dianna cupped her chin and forced Jaqui to stare into the mirror.
“Don't you dare look away,” she said. “Look at yourself. You're so much more
than you think you are. You're not an object for sale.” Jaqui stared into her
own blue eyes, huge with desire, her own white teeth biting down on her lower
lip. “You're a brave warrior. You're so, so brave.” Jaqui shuddered, rocking
into Dianna's touch, her breasts rising with the arching of her body, tossing
her head back as her orgasm built. “You're my queen and you will
go.out.there.and act like one.” Jaqui collapsed, resting her head on her
elbows, soaked between her thighs and coming all over Dianna's hands. She heard
the faucet come on, and Dianna began gently cleaning her up with some of the
tissues that were in a basket of complimentary health and comfort items. Dianna
helped her stand on shaky legs, and pulled up her underwear and nylons. Then
Dianna kissed her.
“Thanks,” Jaqui sighed. “Just give me a sec to make sure my legs are working.”
Tammuz smirked and Perez raised an eyebrow when they exited the washroom. Jaqui
was walking in a manner Dianna hadn't seen in a long time, a sexy, aggressive
strut, the queen bitch back in her element. Dianna adored it.
Reporters gathered on the steps of the Capitol Building, surrounding a
microphone. Dianna spoke into it first, thanking the press for coming out on
such a foggy day.
“I called you here today to make a statement in regards to the accusation
leveled at me by King Silas of Gilboa. In answer to the charge that I
unlawfully took his daughter and her husband and am holding them hostage,
Princess Jacqueline Benjamin Wolfson has not been kidnapped, nor is she being
held against her will in Gath. She was removed from Shiloh by friends of hers,
for her own safety. She'd like to make a formal public statement, to set the
record straight. ” Dianna stepped aside, lightly brushing Jaqui's hand
reassuringly, out of camera range. Jaqui stepped up to the microphone. She was
rusty at Princessing but the skills came back and she sparkled for the crowd,
all shining bouncy curls and glossy lips and big doe eyes that could seduce
from a hundred feet away without speaking.
“I want my parents to know that I'm safe and I'm residing in Gath of my own
free will. My friends took steps to remove me from an abusive situation, which
I'm very grateful for and I am requesting that my family leave me in peace for
the time being. Please, don't hold the people of Gath accountable, they had
nothing to do with my actions. Captain Shepherd is my friend and adviser and
she has seen that no harm has come to me during my stay in Gath. Thank you. ”
“We'll take any questions, at this time,” Dianna said. “Yes- Selah Sun Times?”
“What about your husband?” the reporter asked Jaqui.
“My husband is also well. He is living with me, although we're currently
seeking a divorce.” She got a thrill out of the sudden burst of scandalized
whispering and camera flashes going off. Somewhere in Gilboa, her father was
watching this, she hoped he was apoplectic.
“Can you tell us why?”
“Not at this time, no,” Jaqui said. “But the case will be resolved in the
religious courts, since my father declines to involve himself.”
“What if King Silas uses military might to force the issue?” a different
reporter asked.
“Then we'll meet him head on,” Jaqui replied. “But I hope it doesn't come to
that, because it doesn't need to and we don't want anyone getting hurt. It's a
waste of resources for everyone, isn't it?”
After the press conference, they called up Abigail Nichols Realty and made an
appointment to look at houses.
***** They say love brings hurt *****
Three Years Ago
“Are you playing Grand Theft Auto ?” Jaqui asked, pausing in her anxious
wandering around the room. Her future husband sat on the floor intensely
involved in stealing computer generated cars. They'd been in this suite since
the disaster that was David's trial for treason. Hiding from the king's
murderous anger, mostly. She cursed the fact that she'd had a perfect chance to
ditch Luke and instead, someone else had helpfully arranged to bring him to
her, because of course she'd want her boyfriend safe and close by.
“I have to do something to pass the time, and you've taken up all the pacing,”
Luke replied. She was almost about to join him when Andrew entered, divesting
himself of a heavy winter coat. William followed.
“You call this a safehouse?” Jaqui demanded. “ I'm suffocating. My father is
the one who should be in prison, not me. You said we would act now.”
“He lost their trust when the treasury collapsed. Their security when the city
went dark. Thanks to you, they all know he's a petty murderer. The people will
beg you to take his place,” Uncle William said. And then he added “No one will
remember the names your father called you.”
Which only served to remind her of the names her father had called her,
reigniting her rage and humiliation. She wished William wasn't so skilled at
pushing her buttons, she could never get her balance in conversations with him.
“Then it happens. At Port Prosperity.”
He smiled and clapped her on the shoulder.
“Your last day as princess. A king falls, a queen rises. All it will take is a
little pain.”
Present
Abigail Nichols, a bubbly older woman with a long, thick , dark braid, showed
up to the appointment herself instead of sending an underling. She looked them
up and down with a sparkle in her eyes and a speculative grin. Jaqui shifted
possessively closer to Dianna.
“I really think you're gonna be happy with this one,” Abigail said, unlocking
the front door of a large white cottage in a wooded spot on the shores of the
river. Diana's hand bumped against Jaqui's as they entered a sunny, whitewashed
front hall with gleaming hardwood floors, a stairway and living room to the
left, and a spare room to the right.
“Would make a nice office,” Dianna said, of the room on the right. Jaqui
nodded, picturing bookshelves pushed against the wall, and thinking about maybe
buying Dianna a piano for the living room.
“Come look at the kitchen. It's completely modernized, but maintains its
essential charm-either of you into cooking?”
“Eh, not really,” Jaqui said. “Maybe I could learn. I could make breakfast in a
frilly apron.”
“Oh god,” Dianna said. “Please don't try that. I'm sure Luke would love that
but I'm not him, Perez will be here a lot, and he's a good cook. Can we see the
bathrooms and bedrooms?” They followed Abigail up the stairs while she
chattered about wiring, and square footage, and the number of bathrooms.
“I love it,” Jaqui admitted, stepping into a large, shady bedroom with big
windows overlooking the grassy hill that sloped down toward the water. She
opened the closet and peered inside. “Dianna, it's huuuge. Are the other
bedrooms this nice?”
“Are you buying for a large family or a- small one? Are there children or are
children expected?” Abigail asked.
“Just the two of us, and my husband,” Jaqui said without thinking. Abigail
slanted her eyes toward Dianna again.
“You're not married?” she asked Dianna. Dianna just smiled. But her gaze never
left Abigail as the realtor led them back downstairs.
“Take the paperwork home, look it over,”Abigail said, leaning in close and
placing the sheaf of paper in Dianna's hand. She had a bruise on her right
temple, she'd done a good job of covering it with makeup but the haunted,
hunted look that crossed her face every once in awhile wasn't too different
from the look Dianna remembered seeing in Jaqui's eyes the day she kicked down
that door. Still saw in Jaqui's eyes sometimes. “I'm gonna put my personal
phone number on top here so you can reach me as soon as you've decided.” She
took her time writing it down and smiled up at Dianna.
“I'll take those,”Jaqui said. She usually handled the paperwork, the money, the
business relationships. And Abigail was treating her as if she was invisible.
"And here's mine,"Dianna said. "If you need...anything..."
.
Three Years Ago
“And the audience that awaits us?” Jaqui heard her father ask as she entered
the sitting room, in her dress uniform again, nervously trailing her mother and
Michael, with Luke and Michael's new parentally approved “girlfriend”, the
utterly without personality Paula Lash, following.
“Handpicked on both sides,” Thomasina assured him. Silas flicked his eyes up at
the family gathering. Jaqui's mother gave her a warning look. Silas raised his
eyebrows.
“I come to beg forgiveness,” Jaqui said. She should have added more humility to
her tone but she was barely keeping her anger in check as it was. Silas
beckoned her closer.
“Forgiveness is a form of love and I do not love you.”
“Silas,” Queen Rose interjected, “ yes, you do." He'd been hard on her from the
day she chose not to conform to his plan for her life, but he had never, ever,
given her reason to believe she was truly unloved. She wanted to believe the
man smirking at her was not her father, but she had no hope left for that.
How does he seem?
Focused, concerned. He wants me to back up whatever lies he can find about
David.
You came to me first. Nice to see your loyalty without having to ask for it.
I understand my commitments.
“Kneel,” Her father said. Jaqui blinked. What? He took a sip of his champagne
and repeated the command.
“Kneel.”
She sank to her knees, shocked by the coldness in his voice, awkward in her
skirt and high heels.
“Now kiss the ground I walk on,” Silas said calmly. “I know you prefer
carpet... but that's been our problem all along, hasn't it.” No one said a word
or moved in any way to defend her, she couldn't see them behind her but she
figured they were all looking away, embarrassed.
“Dianna Shepherd is better than both of us, innocent, deserving respect!”
“What do you know about respect? You've never had it-” Silas snarled.
“You are no king!”
“And you're no princess, you DYKE!” His triumphant shout was like a slap. But
he couldn't hurt her anymore with slurs and accusations, not now. She had
nothing but a cold stare for him as she straightened her spine against the
verbal assault.
Jaqui swallowed hard, blinked back tears and bent forward, palms pressing
against the hardwood floor. She moved slowly, stiffly, lowering her face to
touch her lips to the space just right of her father's shoe. After a moment,
she raised herself up again, sitting with her head bowed, palms resting on her
thighs. Her father leaned forward.
“That's the second time your mother's given you life. It'll be the last.”
His eyes had the kind of manic gleam in them that always preceded what her
mother referred to as “an episode”. But this time, no one was discretely
stepping in to suggest he might be tired, they were all just sitting there,
staring at him in a deadly quiet courtroom. “ Guards, arrest Major Benjamin!
Take Captain Shepherd back to her cell!
Jaqui remained stone faced as the guards firmly but respectfully led her from
the room, chaos exploding behind her. Dianna shot her a terrified look as she
was hauled away far less gently. The guards led Jaqui out a side door to the
grassy area behind Unity Hall, she braced for her inevitable “accident”, ready
to take it like a man. But instead, one of the guys handed her a gun of her
own, and Uncle William rolled down the window of a waiting car.
“Well, come on,” he said.
Silas stood and left the room, followed by the rest of her family. Queen Rose
reached down to place a comforting touch on Jaqui's shoulder, but Jaqui pulled
away. Humiliated, she pulled herself into the chair recently occupied by her
father and struggled to get her tears and her breathing under control as she
shook with anger.
a king falls, a queen rises. All it will take is a little pain.
Present
Jaqui slammed the door of their new bedroom and stalked towards Dianna,
stripping off her clothes as she moved. It was great that Luke had his own
bedroom now, on the other side of the house because she planned for this to get
loud. Dianna's eyes widened, pleased and intrigued.
“So, Abigail. Do you want her?” Jaqui pushed Dianna backward on the bed, pulled
Dianna's underpants off and tossed them behind her. She dove under Dianna's
skirt.
“Whuh?” Dianna gasped, befuddled by the sharpness in Jaqui's voice coupled with
what Jaqui was doing with her tongue. Jaqui raised her head from between
Dianna's legs.
“Do you,”she repeated, in her talking to a small stupid child voice, “want
her?”
“I ...yes,” Dianna admitted. “Do you mind?”
“What's to mind?” Jaqui said with a shrug of one shoulder. “I may be buying us
a house but we're not dating. I'm the one who made the promise to be whatever
you needed, we never outlined what your rules are.”
“I was only trying to be polite, anyway,” Dianna said.
“Right, you don't owe me anything,” Jaqui agreed. “I just need to know what to
expect, okay?” Jaqui licked her lips really slowly and bent her head again.
Dianna worried that on some level, it was all absolutely not okay for Jaqui but
if she refused to come out and say it, then Dianna was going to ignore those
feelings because who the hell did she think she was, pulling something like
that? Jaqui always had an angle and Dianna had been jerked around by her more
than enough in situations both sexual and non. Jaqui was exhausting and
frustrating sometimes.
The doorbell rang.
“I”ll get it,” Jaqui volunteered. She rose to her feet and wiped her face with
a tissue.
“Then you'll come back and finish what you started, right?” Dianna moaned.
“You have two working hands,” Jaqui snapped. “Or you could call Abigail.”
Throwing on a robe, she padded down the stairs and peered through the peephole.
Her brother Mike stood on the other side, hands thrown up in a gesture of
surrender, Sergeant Perez holding a gun to his head.
***** I say love brings healing *****
Gathians were unfazed by open homosexuality, gay couples showed affection in
public and had all the same rights and privileges as straight people. For the
last few months, they'd even been making regular public appearances as an
unofficial couple. So they had a habit of indulging in all those little touches
and glances that lovers use. Mike's face wrinkled up in confusion every time
their hands brushed or they leaned in too close or smiled too softly.
“I'm a little tired, I'd like to turn in,” Mike said, pushing away his plate.
“Dinner was fantastic, by the way. Who's responsible for that? The steak....I
mean, God.”
“That would be Sergeant Perez,” Jaqui said. “If you wanna thank him, I think
he's cleaning his guns on the back porch.” She stood and began clearing the
table. Her breast brushed Dianna's shoulder as she reached for the plates, she
blushed a little, avoiding Mike's curious glance. Dianna and Mike left after
saying goodnight. Jaqui carried the dishes into the kitchen and slowly set
about scraping and washing them.
Luke wandered in, dressed in his boxers and t shirt.
“Is it true, the prince is back?”
“Yeah,” Jaqui said without turning around. “He's upstairs with Dianna. They
haven't seen each other in two and a half years.”
“I'm sorry. For-for you.”
“Look,” Jaqui said. “Don't.”
“I'll go back to my room. I was just hungry.”
Jaqui put two bowls and two spoons on the table. She reached into the freezer
and produced a gallon of the honey cinnamon frozen yogurt she'd been saving for
a quiet night alone with Dianna. She put two scoops in each bowl and shoved one
across the table at him.
“Might as well join the pity party.”
Dianna had sought comfort and release with both Tammuz and Itai Perez at
various points in the past, but she was mostly used to the feel of Jaqui's body
beside her. Her round breasts and sloping curves and long hair. And her scent,
she smelled like ocean water and roses. Dianna and Mike had never had a chance
to get used to sleeping together. They had no rhythm, no pattern, it was hardly
the explosive sex everyone downstairs must have thought they were having. It
was...nice...but she barely came, and had to fake it so his feelings wouldn't
be hurt.
“You're not okay,” he said, resting his hand on her waist as they lay facing
each other. “This was disappointing for you...”
“A little,” she admitted. “I guess we're not the same people any more.”
“Is there someone else?”
“I've been with other people since I left you in Shiloh. A couple of other men-
nice guys in their own way, you'd like them, and two women.”
“Women,” he said flatly. “You and Jaqui. I'm not an idiot.”
“Yeah,” she confessed tearfully. Most men would not have seen it so quickly,
but Mike was better than that and maybe he had special powers of observation
when it came to his twin sister. “I think I love her. As much as I love you but
I-”
“Let's not drag this out until we grow to hate each other,” Mike said. “She
needs you more than I do. She needs someone to watch her back, and keep her on
the right path. Plus, she already gave the kingdom an heir, and she could even
produce another one, I can't do that.”
“Gilboa can't have two queens.”
“I'm not going to leave you, not if you don't want that. I'll just...step aside
privately. For her. I can still be of use in helping to run the kingdom.”
“I meant, Jaqui still has a husband. And nobody knows that you and I were
married by Samuels before I ran.”
“Good lord, this is a mess,” Mike said. They both heard it, the soft, horrified
gasp and the sound of feet running away down a carpeted hallway.
Three Years Ago
The force of the bullet threw her against the desk, slamming her head into the
wood. She sat there, crumpled and stunned while people ran around above her,
shouting, grabbing at the king. Out in the audience, there was screaming and a
mad, panicked race for the door. Soldiers of both Gilboa and Gath tried to
corral them, someone in authority shouted that everyone should remain calm and
not to leave the building. Jaqui balanced herself on her good arm, hissing from
the agonizing fire in her left shoulder and managed to pull herself up, despite
her impractical shoes and skirt.
Paramedics lifted the king on a stretcher, all crowded around him so she could
only see a bit of his hand. Her mother's white suit was covered in the king's
blood, Jaqui's dark blue uniform camouflaged the sticky patch of blood on her
shoulder. Guards found Jaqui just as the world began to spin again and she
tried to clutch at the desk to keep from falling. As they supported her,
pulling her roughly toward the exit, she looked up and saw her Uncle William
and Andrew, at the top of the stairs, protected by the pillars of a balcony.
A king will fall, a queen will rise, all it will take is a little pain.
But not his, oh, never his.
Present
“Jaqui,” Dianna said. “Please talk to me.” Everyone else was out doing errands
in the morning, it was time to have that horrible conversation she absolutely
did not want to have with Jaqui. She hovered in the doorway of the living room,
wishing Jaqui would stop looking so hurt and betrayed and...resigned. And
chugging scotch like it was free by the gallon.
“My status as an adulteress- and utter failure at being a wife in general- is
an open secret now,”Jaqui said. “But you never mentioned the part where you not
only married my brother but you're still married to my brother.”
“I promised him I'd come back. But when I did, he was gone. I believed we'd
never see each other again because I had no idea where - ” Dianna took hesitant
steps closer.
“I thought, when you came back for me, that it was me you wanted.” Jaqui ran a
hand over her face and groaned.
“I couldn't leave you behind, you're my friend. But I loved your brother before
we were even friends,” Dianna protested. “He was my first, I -”
“He was your first?” Jaqui gasped. “That's hilarious. Everything really does
work out for you, doesn't it. Daring feats of heroism performed in battle,
falling ass backwards into a promotion, magically discovering the Royal Charter
on a mission you were supposed to die on, being told all my dad's deepest
secrets-like the part where he has an entire secret family he never told us
about, and losing your virginity to a gorgeous prince who is a genuinely nice
and caring guy. If my darling brother didn't shoot blanks, you'd already be
queen! I mean, fuck you, Dianna Shepherd, fuck you!” She slammed her glass down
on top of the piano.
“Who was your first?” Dianna asked. Like that was the point of Jaqui's rant.
Her eyes widened slightly in obvious-and perceptive-concern.
“Andrew Cross,” Jaqui blurted out. “He pushed me down on the floor and he
forced himself on me. We were just kids. I never had a chance to be good and
pure like the Great Goddess Dianna. The money that bought this house? It was my
compensation. Only one person besides Mike ever helped me feel safe and normal
and she killed herself because of the things I did to her! Of course you'd
rather be with Saint Michael.”
Dianna pulled her into a hug, Jaqui shoved her away, fists instinctively rising
like a boxer. Dianna's fists flew up defensively and she took a few graceful
steps away.
“If we throw down, will that make it better?” she asked.
“Yeah. No. I don't know,” Jaqui responded, and sucker punched her in the eye.
Pain exploded in the area of her nose as Dianna retaliated. Jaqui reeled back –
Dianna punched her in the stomach before she recovered her balance.
“Bitch,”Jaqui spat out, swinging at Dianna's chin. Dianna took it like a champ
and flung Jaqui against the piano. Jaqui stumbled, went ass over teakettle over
the top of the piano, crashed into the piano bench and rolled to the floor. She
leg swept Dianna, who tumbled down on top of her. Jaqui punched her fists
against every part of Dianna she could reach. They were too evenly matched in
height, muscle, conditioning and skill level, making it ultimately the most
futile fight either woman had ever been in.
“Are we really doing this again?” Dianna gasped, her breath ragged as she
attempted to hold off Jaqui's fists by gripping her wrists. Jaqui easily broke
the hold, and kneed her in the ribcage. Dianna rolled on top of Jaqui and
pinned her down, one hand tangled tightly in her curls. Jaqui was good, but she
always let her emotions take over, and Dianna had seven rowdy older brothers.
“Dianna-” Jaqui choked out, pupils dilated, breathing hard amidst the tears
streaming down her face and blood trickling out her nose.
“I know, baby, I know. I do love you,” Dianna panted, through the pain of
bruised ribs.
“Nobody loves me,” Jaqui replied. “I can't see how they ever could.”
“You are so.very.wrong.about that,” Dianna said, gently kissing all her bruises
and cuts. “I do. I tried to pretend otherwise, which was just stupid of me. I-
I'm not monogamous but I don't want to hurt anyone, because I really did mean
everything I told you. I mean, is that something you can deal with?”
Jaqui thought about it hard for a moment.
“Yeah,” she said. “I was just upset because you didn't ask me, you acted like
you could just do whatever you wanted. And I remembered my dad cheating on my
mom for like, my whole entire life and coming home pretending to be this great
family man. You should have told me about Mike. But really, the cheating horse
has already left the Barn of Adultery for both of us anyway.” She struggled to
sit up. “Get off me.” But it was said sort of affectionately Dianna climbed off
her and helped her to her feet.
“Barn of Adultery?”
“Oh, shut up.” In the kitchen, they broke into a First Aid kit to patch up
their cuts and used packages of frozen vegetables to soothe bruises (both Itai
and Abigail insisted that's all they were good for anyway).
“When Andrew hurt me, I fought back,” Jaqui said. “I kicked him, I ran and when
he caught me, after he was done with me and I had my chance, I stabbed him.
With a knife I found before he caught up with me. But...” her tongue darted out
to nervously wet her lips. “ I didn't fight Luke. I guess I didn't think I was
worth it anymore. I know- I know what you told me, that I am but I didn't feel
like that when I was trapped in that room with him.”
“You were also heavily drugged,” Dianna pointed out. “And in an impossible, un-
winnable situation. Biding your time was a better battle strategy, there's no
shame in that.”
“Yeah,” Jaqui said, smiling sadly, “ I'll take that explanation.” She decided
not to tell Dianna about all the times after, torturing Luke by putting herself
under on purpose, daring him to take what he needed. Nobody would ever
understand that part.
Three Years Ago
“Captain Dianna Shepherd, you have been condemned to death by the king. What
you have to say, we are ready to hear.”
She looked up at the sky that was too impossibly blue for the day when she
would die. Her arms were tied behind her, and they had drawn a large white X in
chalk on the front of her uniform.
“I have only ever lived for peace,” Dianna prayed. “I lift my eyes to you, and
I know I'll find it.”
“Ready.”
Dianna squeezed her eyes shut and continued to move her lips in prayer.
“Aim.”
Dianna had been more than sure she was about to die. That's why they put you in
front of firing squads. There would be no last minute, miraculous rescues and
she had made her peace with that. So she did not expect all of the guards
dropping like deflated balloons around her as an entirely different set of
soldiers arrived, untied her and transported her to Unity Hall. She remained
inside a little closed off area behind a decorative iron gate, although the
gate was left open, she was clearly not a prisoner but also expected to remain
in place. The guards parted to reveal Jaqui, looking stunning in a silvery gray
dress and a a pair of fantastic purple heels. Her left arm was cradled in a
sling.
“It's true, then,” Dianna said. “He's dead?” Silas was dead, or so they were
saying on the news. Shot by an assassin from Gath, the princess had dove in
front of him but failed to save him and was wounded herself.
“Mourn if you must.” Jaqui crossed the floor and hugged Dianna tightly with her
good arm. She pulled back and fussed with Dianna's lapels and tie. It was a
disconcertingly loving gesture, and her eyes were softly focused on Dianna's.
“I was worried you wouldn't make this.”
“It was you.” Dianna blinked. “You saved my life. Why?” Why? Why was Jaqui
clearly more concerned about Dianna's safety than her own father's possible
death?
“We're rid of the poison,” Jaqui said. “My father is gone. It's my turn to rule
and I want to do it well. I need someone Good around here. I'll try to do right
by your example. I swear from this moment on, I am your friend.”
***** I am right beside you *****
Chapter Summary
     this one is a little long. And warnings because the Cross family is
     guest starring again.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Three Years Ago
He told her to shut up. He told her to shut up in front of the entire court.
“He told me to shut up!” Jaqui ranted as she stormed down the hall toward her
own bedroom suite.
“I know. I didn't expect that,” Dianna said. “He hasn't even bothered to
pretend. He undermined your authority. Do you want me to do something about
it?” Seeing Jaqui forced back into the chair at gunpoint, looking around her
with huge, confused, humiliated eyes had brought out Dianna's protective
instincts but she was totally at sea as to what she was supposed to do for
Jaqui. She was clearly not at all in control of the situation and if she
wasn't, what did that mean for the people who depended on her?
“No, keep your head down. I need you too much.”
Someone had left a garment bag on her bed. There was a note attached.
Wear this tonight.
“Who left this here?” Jaqui asked the maid.
“Your uncle, ma'am. He requests your presence at dinner tonight.” Dianna raised
her eyebrows.
“He requests my presence?” Jaqui muttered. She unzipped the bag and found a
filmy, pale pink dress inside, too tight, with thin shoulder straps, deep v
neck and a slit up the side. In the right light, it might even be see through.
It came with matching lingerie. She dropped it as if it was on fire. That was
not what you wore to dinner with your uncle.
“I'm not supposed to let you leave without putting it on,” the maid spoke up
nervously.
“I'll take the responsibility,” Dianna said. “Go. Leave us.” The girl fled,
head ducked down in a posture that they didn't normally see on palace staff,
everyone was on edge now. “That is one slutty dress. Well, I mean, I wouldn't
wear it.”
“No, it is,” Jaqui said. “It's a basic rule, you only expose one thing at a
time. Ugh.” She began stripping off her clothes, down to her silky slip and
wriggled out of her pantyhose. “And that color.”
“You usually like jewel tones,” Dianna agreed lamely.
“I'm gonna shower, and then you can help me figure it out.”
The outfit seemed designed to both portray her as an innocent little girl and
show off just how much she wasn't at the same time. Dianna knew Jaqui'd been
working that image her entire life but it seemed so gross when someone else
shown a big spot light on it, as if they were trying to demonstrate their
control over her.
“Uh...Dianna?” Jaqui called. “Get in here, I need help.” Dianna followed the
sound of her friend's imperious voice to a huge, luxurious bathroom, half
steamed up by Jaqui's shower. Dianna glimpsed marble counter tops, and shelves
filled with fluffy monogrammed towels and bottles of high end lotions.
“It's just- my arm,” Jaqui explained. She demonstrated her failed attempt to
raise it past her shoulder, grimacing in pain. “I did alright washing and
drying but I can't get this fucking bra on.” Dianna took the bra and stepped up
behind her, blushing because Jaqui was pink, still slightly damp and very, very
naked. Jaqui lifted her right breast so Dianna could help her situate it in the
cup. “Uh, you have to do the other one.”
“Right. Okay.” Dianna swallowed hard and placed her palm on Jaqui's bare skin.
Nipples...oh no, oh no, don't look. Jaqui smirked at her. An electricity passed
between them, Dianna broke the moment by stepped around behind her to fasten
the back. Jaqui bent over, right in front of her and wriggled into the matching
panties. Dianna followed her back into the bedroom.
“Let me,” Dianna said softly. She gently combed out Jaqui's hair, still warm
from the blowdryer and pinned it up with a set of bejeweled bobby pins she
found on the vanity. “Gotta warn you, I suck at makeup.”
“Oh, honey,” Jaqui said. “I know. We all know.” Dianna zipped the dress up,
lingering just a bit too long and wistfully with her hand on the back of
Jaqui's neck. Jaqui sort of bumped her arm affectionately before stepping into
gold kitten heels and turning to leave. An armed soldier escorted her to the
dining room, something felt off about that, too but maybe it was best to take
precautions in the next few days. They told her she had to come alone, she left
Dianna back in the room, looking worried.
“Hey, Jaqui,” Andrew said when she entered. “Do you like the dress I had picked
out for you?”
“What's he doing here?” The guard pulled her chair out and once again, firmly
but gently pushed her into it. Her mother and brother were not present, which
set off another set of alarm bells.
“I occasionally have dinner with my son,” William replied. “Wine?” A wine
steward appeared at her elbow and poured her a glass of red without waiting for
her consent.
“What's this about?” She drank the entire glass and stuck it out for more.
“I'd like to discuss the preparations for your royal wedding,” William said,
cutting into his steak with precise, fussy movements.
“Then where’s Luke?” Jaqui asked. “I want Luke here.” It would help to not be
outnumbered. He was stupid but at least he was big, strong, and one hundred
percent loyal to her.
“You won't be marrying that piece of attractive furniture,” William explained.
“You'll be marrying Andrew. In two months. Officially. Unofficially, your
relationship will begin tonight.”
“No,” Jaqui said. “I won't. How could you do this to me?”
“I had to promise him a reward for behaving himself all this time.”
“No...” Jaqui snapped. “No.” She fought the urge to run, glancing quickly at
the exits, only to realize there was only one way out and it was blocked by an
armed guard.
“He's my son,” William said simply. “ He's lonely, he can't get a girl the
normal way. I need to cement my rule with an heir and you're the only fertile
Benjamin around here. Don't whine about your honor, either, we both know you
don't have any, you were half willing to give yourself to me if I got the crown
for you, you're a beautiful little whore but it's time to stop playing games.
You have a crown, now you owe us.”
“ I'm not a whore.” She gripped her knife, with fantasies of sliding it into
their chests and watching them bleed out all over the table. She could do it,
she could move faster than both of them , but probably not faster than the
armed guards.
“Oh, Jaqui,” William said with a condescending smile. “Yes, you are.”
Present
Jaqui's divorce hearing was held that spring, in Shiloh. The government of Gath
pulled strings to get Jaqui and Dianna classified as diplomats so Silas
couldn't touch them. It was the first time Jaqui had been in Shiloh since her
flight a year ago. The place looked mostly the same, except with much tighter
security, a much higher police presence and more CCTV cameras and fewer people
happily loitering in the street. Some of the luxury shops had gone out of
business. Their driver parked the official diplomatic car a block away from
their destination,it was as close as they could get. The houses on the street
nearby were protected by a high iron fence running the length of the street.
The re was a park behind the iron bars, a large, exquisitely manicured lawn
bordered by high hedges and formal flower beds. Swans and ducks wandered around
by a pond. Well dressed children played within eye sight of tired young women
in dowdy but expensive clothing. The young women read, or knitted or talked on
their phones and jiggled high end baby carriages and strollers.
A tiny, dark haired, pale boy of about two toddled awkwardly to his nanny. He
wore a little brace on his left leg, which impeded his progress. His nanny
encouraged him, her voice carrying on the wind.
“Come on, Adon, that's it. Oh, good boy!”
Dianna realized Jaqui wasn't moving. She stared at the child, her face twisted
into an expression of loss, and yearning. Dianna touched her arm gently.
“We have to go.”
“Right,” Jaqui said. She took a deep, shaky breath. “Right.” She didn't want
him, she'd never wanted him, he'd been a punishment and her life-as bad
daughter, bad wife, bad girlfriend, bad sister, terrible queen- was better
without him in it, because she couldn't deal with being a bad mother too.
It was technically a closed hearing. Reporters flooded the front steps of the
Congregation of the Silent Prayer temple and snapped as many pictures as they
could, as Jaqui and her party entered but they remained outside the doors after
a truly terrifying glare from Perez, who insisted on waiting by the door to
make sure no one else came in. They proceeded down to a large conference room
on the lower level, where three priests would hear the case and make a
decision. Jaqui, Tammuz and Dianna took seats at a long faux walnut grain
table. The priests quietly reviewed her case file, they'd probably already come
to a decision but wanted to hear all the evidence out loud to cement it.
“The king approaches. All rise for the king!” The room as a whole stood,
although nobody seemed as enthusiastic as Jaqui remembered their subjects being
the last time she'd heard those words. Silas and Rose strode by, accompanied by
Thomasina, the court reporter and a handful of bodyguards and didn't
acknowledge her.
“Mrs. Wolfson, you come before us today to petition for a religious divorce
from your husband, Mr. Lucas Wolfson on the grounds that you were both
imprisoned, married without your consent and forced to abuse each other for a
period of several months-sorry, it says here almost two years?” The priest who
seemed to be in charge at the moment was a young man, hardly older than her,
Reverend Nathan Levine.
“Yes, sir.”
“And who is this young man?”
“My name is Captain Asher Tammuz. I've been acting as her legal adviser.”
“Well, this is certainly one of the most bizarre, convoluted and controversial
cases we've ever had to deal with. Whatever the outcome, it will certainly be
historical and set a precedent. Let's proceed. Mrs. Wolfson, you're claiming
that you were sexually assaulted while locked in a bedroom with your husband?
And that a very powerful and influential man in this city is the one who locked
you in there against your will?”
“Yes,” Jaqui said into the microphone. “That's why I had to petition the
tribunal. The king refuses to get involved.”
“You were in a building full of other people, why didn't you run, or scream? Or
tell someone after?” A slightly older priest named Reverend Daniels asked.
“I was imprisoned. I was denied any ability to communicate with the outside
world. My husband was told to impregnate me if he ever wanted his own freedom,
he was given drugs to use on me when I refused to consent. He used them.”
“How do you know he used them?” Reverend Daniels wanted to know.
“Because I woke up in the middle of it,” Jaqui replied. “He's really sorry
about that, that- isn't what I- I'm not looking to have him charged with
anything, he was a prisoner too.”
“You weren't a virgin at the time, is that correct?” This was from Reverend
Jeremiah, an older, flush faced man who seemed bored and distracted.
Jaqui let out an angry little hiss of breath.
“I don't see how that's relevant.”
“There was an incident in the past, the records are sealed because both people
involved were minors,” Tammuz interjected. “It isn't relevant to the
proceedings.”
“And why didn't you want to be married to this man? Didn't you originally agree
to the engagement?” Jeremiah asked.
“I was engaged to marry Kurt Ghent when he died in a car accident. My mother
said- m-my mother said that I'd promised to get married and I shouldn't back
out and I wanted to... My father told me I would be his heir if I married.”
“So, you're saying that you were reluctant to marry in the first place, and
your only motivation was the promise of a kingdom? Why?” Reverend Jeremiah
asked.
Jaqui bit her lip and glanced away. She clasped and unclasped her hands in her
lap. Come on, baby, Dianna thought at her, you can do this, just say it.
“I'm not...I was twenty one and I hadn't had good experiences with men. I just
wanted more independence. If I was going to get married, I wanted...someone
else. Who I couldn't have. And at the time we were locked in together, I
thought he was just my fiance. I didn't realize it counted as a marriage. ”
“Would you still have refused to grant him his marital rights if you'd known he
was your legal husband?” Another from Reverend Jeremiah.
“Yes,” Jaqui said, firmly and confidently. “I didn't want him.”
“I don't see that as the issue here,” said Daniels . “I'm concerned about the
fact that neither person was informed that they were in a legal marriage, which
does not, to me, indicate that a legal marriage took place. Reverend Ephraim
Samuels had been assassinated only a few days before and wasn't yet replaced.
I'd like to suggest that the official opinion of this court be that this
marriage was not endorsed by God.”
“If you'll examine the copy of the marriage certificate I've included,” Jaqui
said, “and compare it to the sample of our signatures, you'll see that they
don't match. We never saw any paperwork, we were never asked to sign anything.”
“You understand that this court has no authority to dissolve decisions made by
the king?” Reverend Levine asked.
“I understand,” said the woman who had almost been queen. He was going to get
away with all of it, the only thing she might get out of this was her freedom.
“However," Levine said, " it is our consensus that the marriage, while it may
have been legal according to a technicality, was not legal in the eyes of God,
having ignored the spirit of the law in favor of the letter. The spirit of our
laws demands that we treat each other respectfully, as equal human beings and
not use each other like objects and things to be traded. We have a sacred duty
not to dehumanize each other with sexual abuse and denial of personal liberty.
The actions of the Wolfson's captor are abhorrent to this court and abhorrent
to our Creator.”
“I won't stand for this!” Silas cried. Rose tried to put a soothing hand on his
arm but he shook her off. “You undermine the king's authority!”
“Is the king willing to admit to a part in this?” Dianna snapped.
“The king admits nothing and will not be accused of crimes by a treasonous
little girl!
“I have never been a traitor!” Dianna jumped to her feet, squaring off against
Silas, who started to rise before Rose made him sit again. “I've taken better
care of your daughter than you have in the past three years!”
“And we all know why, don't we!” Silas snarled. “You've only encouraged her
perversions and seduced her into breaking the promise she made to her family!”
“I didn't! You treat her life like it's yours to play with. I know she's done
some things that were wrong but she never deserved that from her own father!
You were supposed to fix it, not make it worse!”
“ SHUT UP,” Nathan Levine barked. They were all so shocked that someone would
tell them to shut up, that they all immediately did. “I cannot believe you
people,” he said.
“You're out of line, Prophet,” Silas said, his voice low and dangerous.
“I am NOT,” Levine snapped. “ I answer to a higher authority than you, my king,
and I will speak my piece. We're all intelligent adults here, I shouldn't have
to explain that crimes were committed against the Wolfsons. Not merely sins,
but crimes that would be punished by secular law if they'd been committed by a
factory worker or school teacher. Crime is crime regardless of whether the
criminal is a peasant or a king. The man who victimized the Wolfsons had other
options for achieving his goals, he simply chose not to take them because he
desired to make a show of power instead. Unfortunately, the secular lawgivers
are not interested in prosecuting the aggressors in this case, the man who set
these events in motion has power that makes him virtually untouchable. All this
tribunal can do is grant Mr. and Mrs. Wolfson a religious exemption and state
unequivocally that we do not approve of the abuse that they have endured.
Congratulations, sir, ma'am, The Lord Our God, King of the Universe, pronounces
you free. If anyone should attempt to make their lives difficult over this
issue, let it be known that I will handle any such issues personally. ”
The small crowd burst into applause as Jaqui sat there with a stunned
expression and Silas one of barely controlled rage. Dianna spontaneously
grabbed her in a bear hug, Jaqui laughed as she tried to breathe.
“ Go do the paperwork and then let's celebrate. Anything you want.”
“I wouldn't hate being Jaqui Benjamin Shepherd,” she said with a cheeky grin.
“For my lioness of Judah.”
“I'd love that,” Dianna said. “But I think it'll have to wait...Silas is going
to declare war on us for this.”
“Let him,” Jaqui said. “Let him come at us with everything he has.”
“By the way, here's your dad's wallet. I had Itai steal it from him in the
men's room. I was thinking of mailing it back with a note about how I could've
killed him but didn't.”
“I love you,” Jaqui said. “But I think Daddy should buy me some new clothes
first. And some sub machine guns.” She saw Luke wandering around aimlessly by
the old bank of payphones and approached him.
“Well, it's over. You can go back to your own life now.”
“What life?” Luke said. “I lost my job. Because it turns out, when you don't
show up for work for three years, they fire you. I was going to resign anyway,
because I was like, going to marry a princess and stuff but after that first
week of not answering my phone, they dropped me. Remember how your parents took
our phones away? I don't know if I should find my family or go back to Gath
with you. I don't want to live in a country ruled by a man who thinks what I
did to you is okay. Because I knew that when I did it and I'm supposed to be
stupid. ”
“I know you were desperate and you never meant to hurt me,” Jaqui said. “You
did but we were running out of options. If you want to come back, and be a part
of our family in a non spousal capacity, you can. If you....help me with
something I need to do.”
Three Years Ago
“Andrew, I'm really sorry about being rude to you earlier,” Jaqui said. “I was
just very shocked.” She stood in her bedroom a couple of hours after dinner,
hands folded contritely in front of her while he sat in her armchair as if he
owned it.
“No problem,” he replied pleasantly. “You'll learn better.”
“Oh, I know, I promise,” Jaqui lied. “I know you'll show me what a man you've
become.”
“Take those shoes off. I love it when you're barefoot,” Andrew said. She
stepped out of them, she moved more quickly without them anyway. “Come here and
get on your knees. I want to see you show some appreciation.” Jaqui approached
slowly across the thick carpet of her bedroom. She made her walk sexy, inwardly
cringing at the way his eyes followed the sway of her hips. She sank down
gracefully in front of him while he took his cock out. She licked her lips as
if she couldn't wait.
“Go on. You know what I want.”
She dipped her head down, eyes lowered and pressed her lips to his cock. And
her right hand shot up and broke his wrist. When he howled in pain she rolled
to her feet and got as far away from him as she could. She wasn't fourteen any
more and had dealt with much bigger, much stronger men in the army.
“Come near me again and I'll break the other one,” she said. “I may not have a
choice about marrying you but you won't touch me again until it's official.
Now, get out of my room.”
“You're going to pay for that, you little bitch,” he said, smiling cheerfully
through eyes that watered in pain. But he left, and she called Dianna to bring
a gun and keep watch over the door. Jaqui had no doubt that she would pay for
it dearly in two months but it had been worth the risk.
“I guess you're pulling watch tonight. I don't trust anyone else,” Jaqui said.
“Who knows which people in this house are in William's pocket.”
“Okay,” Dianna said, and settled down in Jaqui's armchair, weapon at the ready,
while the almost-queen lay down to a troubled sleep. She didn't ask why Jaqui
was afraid to go to sleep alone or why, in the darkest part of the night, she
heard muffled sobbing.
Chapter End Notes
     The "tribunal" concept is basically a mishmash of various types of
     religious court, since the show gave us no indication of how it would
     work if a character found themselves in the sort of situation the
     Wolfsons are in. And they're in this religious system that is not
     completely Jewish (definitely not Orthodox) but not completely
     Christian and their values are sometimes very modern and yet other
     times, extremely outdated. So I'm just making stuff up.
***** Hallelujah, Hallelujah *****
Three Years Ago
Dianna watched Jaqui apply makeup to a bruise on her cheek. She knew better
than to ask, it wasn't hard to infer anyway. The Crosses were trying to break
her.
“Don't worry about it,” Jaqui said. “I have it under control.”
No, you totally don't, Dianna thought. “But what are you going to do about
Andrew? You have to marry him soon.”
“You never know what could happen...” Her silence was pointed, as much an
implied order to make Andrew meet with an accident as if she'd come right out
and said it. “Failing that, I'll bring a knife to bed on my wedding night and
cut off his junk.”
Well, it was hard to blame her for the sentiment.
“Mother...”
“Just tell me you didn't know. Even if it's not true.”
Jaqui said nothing.
“Time to greet your country,”William announced.
“Don't do this, Jaq,” Rose pleaded. “You don't know him. He's alive. He's
alive, and he'll come back, and when he does, he'll kill us all.”
“And what does that say about our family?” Jaqui said, standing and following
William into the council chamber.
“Where's Dianna Shepherd?”William demanded. Jaqui was not about to tell him
anything, even if she knew, which she didn't. “Andrew, see if you can find
anyone who knows anything about where she went.”
Present Day
Michael had made an effort to seek them out because his cancer had returned. He
didn't tell them until it was too late, and all they could do was watch him
wither away in hospice. Jaqui sent a formal letter to her parents about it, but
they never responded personally, instead they issued a press release about it
that included no mention of a twin sister or a wife. Jaqui paid for a small
funeral, extending an invitation to their closest old friends. Only a few
showed up, most were too nervous about crossing the border.
Dianna stayed behind after the casket was lowered into the ground, her lips
moving in silent prayer. Jaqui waited with her, she didn't want to run the
gauntlet of a receiving line and pointless condolences. Dianna opened her eyes
with a sigh and turned around.
“I know you don't believe, but I just, I needed to say goodbye,” Dianna said.
“I pray sometimes. God and I still aren't quite okay with each other,” Jaqui
said. “But I trust you. I believe in you. I'm following you. And God likes you.
You do what you need to do.”
Three Years Ago
Public opinion of a military reengagement -radio static- People of Gilboa. A
few days ago our nation was the victim of a coup d'etat, your king was shot and
the reigns of our country seized by corrupt and evil men. My people, you have
been decieved. I address you today to say that I, Silas Benjamin, king of
Gilboa, am alive Very much alive. I am still sovreign of this nation. I send a
message to the traitors who would depose me. Who would subvert God's will and
the freedom of my people. I am the rightful king o this nation. I and no other.
I will return to Shiloh to take my place given me by God and citizen. Like an
earthquake I will come.
A coronation no one attended except those with no choice. She climbed the
stairs at Unity Hall alone, the cheering crowds only in her head.
I read from the benediction of Reverend Ephraim Samuels Our cause is just. Our
union is perfect. As we unify our lands, unify our purpose. Guide his eyes,
mouth, hands, that they see your goals and work with purpose. Build monuments
to your gifts.”
William's cell phone rang. He ducked aside to answer it and then stared in
horror out the window.
“Let this crown be our every hand, there to lift you up in the darkest moments”
“It's him,” William said.
Present Day
After Michael's funeral, they went out drinking. Despite their gloomy first
impression, Gathians were damn fantastic at partying. There would be time to do
the rituals tomorrow. The Jericho Club was packed with beautiful young people
dressed to impress in their wildest outfits. They didn't have the glamor of a
Shiloh club, and Shiloh clubs didn't have the glamor of the clubs in other
parts of the world, but they'd certainly put in the effort in department store
feathers and sequins, with the occasional glimpse of black market designer bags
and jeans. Jaqui's new family, her only family now, danced together,
desperately not wanting to be more than a foot away. Jaqui floated on the
feeling of being safely surrounded, grinding up against each one of them in
turn, or sometimes all of them at once.
The song was something about “knowing what you did in the dark”. It reminded
her of the parties her unit had before big battles, when they were all secretly
terrified. They'd all loved this band, back then, back before...she was one of
two left. They'd died screaming, all of them, while she was helpless to stop
it. Her “mistake” of being set up to get twelve troops killed, four of whom had
been women, had been used as an excuse to withdraw Gilboan women from inclusion
in combat.
“I”ll ask them not to play any more of that,” Dianna said.
“I'd like to walk home, I need to be alone,” Jaqui said. Dianna smiled softly.
“Yeah, sure.” Jaqui took a cab out of the city and got out by the bridge. It
was about two miles down a wooden road to their house. She took it slowly,
swigging from a bottle and occasionally almost stumbling over rocks and tree
branches that may or may not have actually been there. She might've cried over
all the time she and Michael had wasted not getting along, usually due to her
own selfish ambitions. If she'd treated him more like a brother and less like a
rival, for, well, everything, if she' d only been secure enough to realize
nothing mattered if she didn't have her twin. If this had happened ten years
ago, it would've been like someone had ripped her arm off. She was surprised to
realize it still did feel that way.
The porch light was on, but all the other windows were dark. Since she knew
they must have arrived home sooner than her, she figured they'd all gone to
sleep off the booze. No soldier guarded the front door. Jaqui let herself in,
and punched her code into the alarm. The house was dark except for one lit
candle on the stand by the door. The note next to the candle was in Dianna's
handwriting.
Please come upstairs.
Three Years Ago
“Prison is softer than I thought it would be,” Jaqui said. She sat on the edge
of a king sized bed in a luxuriously appointed bedroom in Altar Mansion. She'd
been ready to man up and face death at the hands of her father, instead he'd
mocked her and told her that they had “a punishment worse than death” in mind.
Thomasina said nothing but stepped aside to reveal Luke, being escorted by two
armed guards. Jaqui stood and hesitantly stepped around the bed. Luke hurried
to her and embraced her.
“I don't understand,” Luke murmured. Jaqui extricated herself from his
muscular, smothering grip and tried to follow Thomasina.
“He had no part in this.”
“His part, he'll be glad to play,” said Thomasina. “Your father wants for you a
living death. To brick you into a wall with someone who loves you, who you
can't stand the sight of. Until you produce an heir, who Silas will take and
raise right this time. “
“Thomasina...love...Please. You've known me since I could crawl,” Jaqui begged,
instantly filled with panic at the thought of Luke 'playing his part'. She'd
never been afraid of him, but she didn't want anything to do with his part and
what would come of him spurting inside her, the helplessness and the pain and
the destruction of everything she'd ever planned for herself.
“You went against the family. You're not charming any more, Jaqui.”
“Don't do this”. She was at his mercy now, a man she'd treated horribly just
because she could. Being trapped in here was enough of a nightmare of a future,
but trapped with him? He was a good man, but how long would he remain that way?
And who would care about a woman with no personhood left, non existent by royal
decree?
“It's easy,” Thomasina said. “Just close your eyes and dream of someone who's
dead.” She shut the door in Jaqui's face and locked it.
Present Day
Jaqui climbed the stairs slowly, feeling her way in the semi dark, past the
covered mirror and the closed door to the second guest bathroom. Their bedroom
door was open a couple of inches. Jaqui slipped through. In the glow of
candles, Dianna and the others waited, naked and sweating with bright,
welcoming eyes. The boys were impressively hard, nuzzling and stroking each
other and Abigail. They'd done this before, but Jaqui had always declined,
despite her agreement to let Dianna have other partners, she'd still silently
resented it a little. Not now. She needed them.
Jaqui undressed with agonizing slowness, silently teasing them. Black silk
dress sliding off, shoes, nylons...and then bra and underpants, teasing a hand
over her own nipples as she reached up to unpin her hair and shake it down over
her shoulders. Jaqui crawled onto the bed and into their arms.
“Anything you don't want?” Dianna asked.
“Don't-I only want you inside me,” Jaqui said. Looking at cocks was the best
she could manage for her lovers. Braced against Tammuz, her thighs parted ,
Jaqui turned her head to nuzzle her cheek against Itai's. Her face was flushed,
her lips swollen and parted with desire. Dianna sank to her knees in front of
them and bent her head between Jaqui's legs. She drew her tongue slowly back
and forth , finding all of Jaqui's secret places and driving her mad with
pleasure . Jaqui let out a filthy moan.
“So wet for me...” Dianna murmured. “That's my girl.” Jaqui blindly petted
Dianna's golden hair and did a whole body writhe as Dianna's mouth turned its
attention to her clitoris.
Dianna paused, rose up on her knees and leaned over Jaqui to kiss Tammuz long
and slow. Itai and Abigail shifted over to hold Jaqui while Tammuz moved around
behind Dianna. Dianna gasped when he pushed himself inside her, and gave Jaqui
a fierce kiss, tasting of all of them. As he thrust into her, she worked her
fingers in Jaqui , kissing, licking, biting, her neck and ear and shoulders.
Abigail palmed Jaqui's breasts, rubbing her nipples. They didn't stop, on and
on, Tammuz inside Dianna, Dianna inside her, until Jaqui thought she couldn't
take any more, she started to come, crying out and gushing. Tammuz came in
Dianna and pulled out carefully. They both moved up to encircle Jaqui in their
arms, making a blanket of loving bodies for her.
***** Tell the World I'm Coming Home *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Three months later.
Like an earthquake, Dianna came to Shiloh. Goliath tanks operated by her
Gilboan rebels and sympathetic Gathians drove down the streets. The battles
were mostly on the outskirts of town where Silas's troops met them. They broke
through after two days of violence and proceeded into the city, meeting only
pockets of resistance after that. The people became more helpful when they saw
the clearly displayed Gilboan flags and Dianna's image plastered all over the
news, she shone out like a beacon and spoke to them through a megaphone, urging
calmness and cooperation.
Andrew hurriedly descended the back steps of Unity Hall. He'd offered to stay
with the king, but Uncle Silas wanted him safe, and had ordered him to get to
the garage and take a car to Serenity while he still could. There were side
streets and back roads not patrolled by the enemy.
“Andrew,” a male voice called his name from somewhere to his right. Andrew
paused and looked around. It was That Guy. The really good looking one, the pet
that belonged to the prize Andrew had been promised by his father and then
denied by Silas. The Pet had a gun.
“She sent you?” Andrew laughed. “Seriously?”
“I'm supposed to look you in the eye when I do it,” the other man said.
Andrew was still laughing when Luke Wolfson shot him in the head. Luke watched
him tumble a few feet down the stairs, his blood making a pool where he landed.
Luke had never killed anyone before, but his ex wife was an excellent
instructor and he felt this restored the balance somewhat.
An armed soldier stood alone in the lobby of Unity Hall. Jaqui was sure others
were nearby, but she hefted her gun and kept walking as if she didn't see him.
“Don't move another step,” he barked out.
“Oh, get out of my way, “ Jaqui snapped.
“I'm sorry, ma'am, I'm not moving,” he said.
“Okay,” said Jaqui, and she punched him out and kept walking. She found Rose
upstairs in the Ministry of Information's office, watching UNN's attempt to
cover the war on tv. The average man on the street didn't seem to understand
exactly what was going on, and the reporters weren't helping. Jaqui saw footage
of herself in battle, shouting orders in the smoke and chaos, a fierce
expression on her dirt smeared face, it was surreal.
“Where is it, Mother?” Jaqui asked, calm and deadly.
“I don't know what you're talking about,” Rose said.
“Oh, I think you do,” Jaqui replied. “You're taking us to wherever you keep it.
Now.”
“Where's Rose?” Silas bellowed over the sound of the small helicopter's blades.
“She's not coming,” Dianna called out, from her position leaning against the
open door to Unity Hall's roof. That was no bluff, she'd been speaking to Jaqui
through an ear piece, Rose was in custody and they were returning from the
National Archives. “She's not coming and you're not leaving.”
“You'll let me go,” Silas said. “You couldn't do anything less.” Dianna
shrugged one shoulder.
“No. Sorry.” In one smooth, graceful moment, Dianna calmly shot the pilot. The
helicopter fell, crashing to the roof. Silas stared at her with a look that, if
they still liked each other, might've been surprised approval. “Come willingly,
or Itai will bring you in handcuffs.”
“Who the hell is Itai?” Silas asked as the young soldier stepped forward.
“My Thomasina. Let's get this over with, sir.”
“I could have done so much for you,” Silas said as he allowed himself to be led
inside. “I tried to teach you.”
“Oh, I learned, sir,” Dianna said. “I learned. Mostly how not to do things.”
*******************************************************************
“Baby,” Dianna said, nodding. Jaqui crossed the Unity Hall lobby, her army
boots on the marble, the only sound. Rose, Silas, and Thomasina were under
guard on the other side of the room. They'd been thoroughly searched for
weapons, poisons, pills and communication devices, they were being guarded only
by Gathians Dianna knew well and trusted and were each seated several feet away
from each other.
“Your majesty,” Jaqui replied, and held out the pillow with the crown on it.
She was covered in other people's blood (or at least, Dianna hoped it was
mostly other people's), in dirty fatigues and with hair that hadn't been washed
in a week. Her eyes were shining.
“You look as beautiful as the day I met you,” Dianna said.
“I was being held hostage, tied up on the floor of a tent in the desert, with
half my face bandaged,” Jaqui said. “So that's pretty accurate. Let's make you
queen of Gilboa.”
For her coronation, Dianna wore a long silver sheath accented with a draping of
sheer navy blue fabric cut on the bias, and ancient jewelry from the national
archives. Jaqui had informed her that the earrings were hundreds of years old,
found in an excavation of Carmel. Jaqui wore simple dark purple and antique
silver bracelets on her arms. The ceremony was invitation only, but people
crowded the steps of Unity Hall and the streets outside it, watching on big
screen tvs. White bunting and thousands of roses and white lilies were strung
around railings, parking meters, lamp posts, and strewn like carpet in the
places the queen walked.
Dianna knelt on the steps of the dais and bowed her head while Nathan Levine
stood above her, speaking his benediction.
“Be wise now , be instructed, you judges of the earth. Serve the Lord with
fear, and rejoice with trembling. May the Lord answer you when you are in
distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help
from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion. May he give you the desire
of your heart and make all your plans succeed. May we shout for joy over your
victory and lift up our banners in the name of our God.”
He raised the crown and placed it on her head. “Arise, Queen of Gilboa.”
Dianna stood, and turned around, smiling that smile that lit up the world. She
reached for Jaqui's hand, tugging her a bit closer (may he give you the desire
of your heart)as the crowd cheered.
“I couldn't give you this to wear beforehand, because I wanted to surprise
you,” Dianna said. “So we had to pin them right on the uniform.” The current
general of Gilboa's forces stepped forward with a folded dress uniform in his
hands. Every medal and campaign pin she had earned before her punishment, and
every medal she should have earned while fighting to retake the kingdom was
pinned to the uniform. And there was something new added to it.
“By the authority of Queen Dianna the First of Gilboa, Jacqueline Benjamin has
been reinstated to the rank of Major, and now, in recognition of her
outstanding service in battle, by the authority of the government of Gilboa and
its army, is promoted to Colonel.” He placed the folded clothing in her arms.
“Congratulations, Colonel Benjamin.” Jaqui instinctively saluted, struggling
not to burst into a gigantic grin. That would have been enough, but Abigail
stepped forward with Adon in her arms. He wore a suit, he wore a goddamn tiny
tuxedo, how was she supposed to process that?
“This is your mommy,” she told him as she placed him in Jaqui's arms. Jaqui
buried her face in her son's hair to hide her happy tears (newly minted
Colonels did not sob in public) as the crowd applauded and took up the cheer
“Eshet chayil! Eshet chayil!”
And then the butterflies came, in a swarm that blanketed the porch outside.
**********************************************************************
Dianna stood at a window at the Vineyard, watching Jaqui playing quietly with
Adon, Abigail and Abigail's little boy in the garden. Queen Rose finished her
lunch at a small dining table. Silas had been shut away in the nation's most
secure long term care facility. Not a prisoner, exactly, but heavily medicated
to keep him from being a danger to himself or others. He ate steak and played
chess and dictated his memoirs. Sometimes he had visitors, Dianna and Rose
visited at least once a month, but Jaqui never came along, nor did the children
and Dianna respected Jaqui's wishes on this matter.
“My grandson is adjusting well,” Rose commented. “They do, at that age.”
“She told me she doesn't know how to love him. She's afraid she can't. But I
know she can learn to be a good mother,” Dianna said. “She has a lot of help
now. If she wants to, she deserves the chance to try.”
And so do I, she didn't say out loud. Queen Rose glanced at her and smiled,
Dianna was only just starting to show but Rose was experienced enough to know.
“You'll finally have everything you want,” Rose said. “Life can go badly for
people who get everything they ever wanted.” There was no implied threat in her
voice any more, although Dianna would be forever on guard around her.
“I'll take that under advisement,” Dianna replied. “If you think this was ever
what I wanted, you never understood me at all. But now that it is mine, no one
is going to take it from me.”
Chapter End Notes
     Benediction is quoting from Psalm 2 and Psalm 20.
     http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_Psalms
     (I made the mistake of reading 18 too, and now I will have that song
     stuck in my head. Why does it have to be so catchy? *clap* *clap*)
***** Epilogue *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Epilogue
Seven Years In the Future
“Thomasina escaped,” Dianna remarked casually, trailing practiced fingers over
the piano keys. Plans for the renovation of Salem, their new capitol city, were
spread out over the top of the piano, they had something that looked like
chocolate sauce smeared all over them. Because it was. From the sex involving
chocolate sauce they'd had on the piano earlier.
“Three guesses where she's headed,” Jaqui said. She was finishing the day's
paperwork for the rape and sexual abuse survivor's network she ran with Luke.
They had thriving chapters in every Gilboan city and were making strides
coordinating with international efforts. “We're just going to watch them to see
what they do, aren't we.”
“That's what I planned,” Dianna said. “He's twelve, he has an opportunity to
not turn into someone he doesn't have to be, he can still turn back.”
“Glad to see I succeeded in finally turning you hard and cynical,” Jaqui
replied. “What'll you do if he's not smart enough to turn back?”
“Oh, I'll crush him like the wrath of- hey, guys!” Four shrieking children
tumbled into the sitting room. “Thought we talked about using our inside
voices.”
“Did Nice Grandma give you soda again?” Jaqui asked. Mean Grandma was her own
mother, who made them wear suits and go to the symphony and put napkins in
their laps. Nice Grandma had a farm and took them to county fairs.
“Yeah!” Ammon yelled, bouncing on his toes. “And cotton candy and corn dogs and
we went on the roller coaster and Adon puked!”
“You alright, honey?” Jaqui gave him a one sided hug. He nodded.
“Yeah,” he said solemnly. “I'll know better next time.”
“And did you make sure Tamar had fun?” Dianna asked. “Remember, when you go
somewhere with a girl you should always make sure she's having fun too.” It was
never too early to imprint that lesson. “Do I see a scrape on her chin?”
“She's a baby and she couldn't keep up,” Absalom complained.
“She's your blood sister, I need you to watch out for her when we can't. All of
your mommies and daddies and grandmas need you to promise to protect her when
we're not around.”
“I promise, Mommy.” Dianna drew her son close and lifted her daughter to sit on
the piano bench. She began to play a lullaby.
Story books are full of fairy tales
Of kings and queens and the bluest skies
My heart is torn just in knowing
You'll someday see the truth from lies
At four, Tamar was a chubbier, miniaturized version of Dianna(same wide blue
eyes and golden curls) and a longed for daughter after a string of rambunctious
boys. The nation doted on her. She would be beautiful soon, with all the
benefits...and the problems. Jaqui hoped she'd be able to steer the princess
around the pitfalls. Ammon stared at the back of their heads, hurt and
resentful. She'd have to head that off at the pass too. Dianna hadn't grown up
in an unhappy family, she honestly thought everyone could just love each other
all the time because she loved them all.

Castles they might crumble
Dreams may not come true
But you are never all alone
Because I will always
Always love you
Jaqui kissed her own son on the top of his head, he burrowed into her arms
bashfully.
“Ammon, we're going to get some chicken soup for Adon, you want to come?”
Chapter End Notes
     Song can be heard here
     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lklVOT6Uv2U
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